The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of movie-rental stores.
"Because of declining profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Raising prices is not a good option, since we are famous for our low prices. Instead, we should reduce our operating hours. Last month our store in downtown Marston reduced its hours by closing at 6:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m. and reduced its overall inventory by no longer stocking any DVD released more than five years ago. Since we have received very few customer complaints about these new policies, we should now adopt them at all other Movies Galore stores as our best strategies for improving profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The owner of Movies Galore stated that because of the declining profits, they must reduce the operating hours in all of the ten movie-rental stores because were unable to increase the revenue from the DVD's as they were famous for their low prices. The owner of the Galore stores supports the above statement by providing the evidence which states that their store in downtown Marston received very few complaints about the store after implying the new policies in which they reduced their operating hours and also reduced their inventory by no longer stocking the inventory with the DVD's released more than five years ago. However, until and unless the owner provides with TWO evidence stated below, we have insufficient information to determine that by implying the above policies profit will improve.
Firstly, the owner is not providing any evidence to support that after reducing the operating hours from 9:00pm to 6:00pm at the downtown Marston store it engender profit increase. It may be possible that the profit of the store remains constant as before because the period between 6:00pm to 9:00pm, the number of customer who come to the shop were very less as compared to the customers who came before 6:00pm. If the number of people arriving before 6:00pm was too large and customers do not come after 6:00pm then reducing the time does not result in increase in profit. It may be contradicting with other branch of store located in a different area where the number of customers are even throughout the day. That is, it is possible that for each hour the store is open there are two customers buying the DVD's from the stores. In such a case it will have converse effects to reduce the time of store and also there is a probability that the number of complaints might increase after implying such policies on other branches. Hence, until the owner provides with evidences to prove that the above scenarios will be invalid. It is difficult to determine whether implying such policies might result in increase in profit.
secondly, the owner does not provide sufficient evidence to prove that by reducing the inventory by removing all the DVD's released more than five years ago would result in increase in profit. For instance, in the downtown area people may be interested in new DVD's and very less people would buy the DVD's that were launched five years ago. Therefore by removing the DVD's released more than five years ago will not result in increasing profit. However, by implying such strategies on the other ten stores might have an negative impact. There might be a possibility that people living near in the area where the other Galore stores are located might be interested in DVD's that released five years ago. This will lead more increase in profit loss. Further, the owner did not provide enough evidence to prove about the complaints received by the store. It may be possible that all the complaints received by the store in downtown were about the availability of the DVD's produced before five years ago. If the above scenario holds to be true then by implying such strategies might not result in increase in profit rather will have negative impact on the other stores. Therefore, until and unless the owner of the store does not provide with sufficient evidence that reducing the inventory by removing the DVD's produced five years ago will lead to increase in profit among the ten stores. We cannot state that implication of such strategies will lead to increase in profit of the Galore stores.
The argument is currently relied on some unwarranted supports that need further evidence to strengthen the statement that by implying the policies stated in the argument will lead to increase in profit of the Galore stores. The owner of the store should provide with more evidence for the scenarios stated above.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 657 350
No. of Characters: 3144 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.063 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.785 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.373 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 218 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 150 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 123 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.375 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.661 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.371 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.502 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.157 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 114, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...they must reduce the operating hours in all of the ten movie-rental stores because were un...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 489, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...new policies in which they reduced their operating hours and also reduced their i...
^^
Line 5, column 156, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'engenders'?
Suggestion: engenders
...6:00pm at the downtown Marston store it engender profit increase. It may be possible tha...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 361, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[1]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...mer who come to the shop were very less as compared to the customers who came befo...
^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Secondly
...ight result in increase in profit. secondly, the owner does not provide sufficient ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 274, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun people is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
... may be interested in new DVDs and very less people would buy the DVDs that were lau...
^^^^
Line 9, column 340, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...DVDs that were launched five years ago. Therefore by removing the DVDs released more than...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 515, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...gies on the other ten stores might have an negative impact. There might be a possi...
^^
Line 9, column 999, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...he DVDs produced before five years ago. If the above scenario holds to be true the...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, as to, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 25.0 12.9520958084 193% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 24.0 13.6137724551 176% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 108.0 55.5748502994 194% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3195.0 2260.96107784 141% => OK
No of words: 650.0 441.139720559 147% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.91538461538 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.04926703274 4.56307096286 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.39062320116 2.78398813304 86% => OK
Unique words: 206.0 204.123752495 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.316923076923 0.468620217663 68% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1007.1 705.55239521 143% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 68.7101399601 57.8364921388 119% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.125 119.503703932 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.0833333333 23.324526521 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.375 5.70786347227 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.120607022822 0.218282227539 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0416691642728 0.0743258471296 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0672191800458 0.0701772020484 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.088430372456 0.128457276422 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0636389440852 0.0628817314937 101% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 48.3550499002 109% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 12.197005988 103% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.55 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.14 8.32208582834 86% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 28.0 12.3882235529 226% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.