The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores.
“In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The argument proposes to bring changes to the operating procedures of the store in order to reduce operating expenses based on several factors. based on the positive results obtained by the changes implemented to one of their stores, the rental store chain plans on doing the same changes to other stores to reduce the decline in profits. While the recommendation seems to be perfectly valid at first, further examination of the same reveals that it lacks cogency and relies on assumptions without supporting evidence.
First, the argument claims that the change in the operating timings of the stores helps reduce operational expenses based on the change experiment on the store at downtown marston. While the assumption appeasrs to be valid, it is by no means the truth. changing of operating timings of a store may tend to affect the profits negatively. For example, the remaining 9 stores may be in different geographies and may have their peak sales from 6PM-10PM. Closing these stores at 6PM based on the outcomes of the store at downtown marston may bprove to be detrimental to the company profits. We can clearly observe that while there may be a positive correlation in the decrease of operating costs and store timings, it is not a cause. The assumption can be strengthened by providing statistical data on the activeness of the stores (sales of the store for a given hour) and then adjusting the timings accordingly.
Second, the assumption to clear the stock of older movies to reduce expenses is filled with flaws. Tendency of customers to watch old movies may vary across geographies. clearly stock of old movies in stores where the majority of the sales is from old movies would be a bad idea. For example, downtown marston would have youngsters as majority of the customers. But another store may be frequently visited by people who watch old movies. Now removing old movies from stock in the second store may not be advisable. The assumption stands weak because of such loopholes.
Third, the assumption is reluctant to raise the prices of the products. This assumption is flawed as we do not have necessary evidence on prevailing market rates. If the stores can increase the price of the product and still maintain a competitive rate compared to their rival they would still be appealing to the customer and it would not negatively affect their popularity. The lack of information regarding the competitors and their price weakens the arguments. given the necessary evidence, one can make a statistically analysis to predict te outcome of the increase in price.
Overall, the argument is poorly reasoned and is not entirely convincing. The argument is filled with flaws and the lack of solid evidence only weakens it further. With answers to certain questions and statistical information like, the timings for each store at which the sales peak, The prevailing market rates of the competitors and other operating information of the stores distributed across geography may help the author strengthen the argument.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 501 350
No. of Characters: 2486 1500
No. of Different Words: 211 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.731 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.962 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.716 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 182 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 141 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 100 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.857 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.894 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.762 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.54 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.109 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Based
...ng expenses based on several factors. based on the positive results obtained by the...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 72, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Changing
... be valid, it is by no means the truth. changing of operating timings of a store may ten...
^^^^^^^^
Line 14, column 72, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Clearly
...old movies may vary across geographies. clearly stock of old movies in stores where the...
^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...stands weak because of such loopholes. Third, the assumption is reluctant to r...
^^^
Line 20, column 90, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Given
... and their price weakens the arguments. given the necessary evidence, one can make a ...
^^^^^
Line 20, column 133, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('statistically') instead an adjective, or a noun ('analysis') instead of another adjective.
...en the necessary evidence, one can make a statistically analysis to predict te outcome of the increase ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 20, column 186, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ly analysis to predict te outcome of the increase in price. Overall, the arg...
^^
Line 21, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... te outcome of the increase in price. Overall, the argument is poorly reasone...
^^^
Line 24, column 278, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...raphy may help the author strengthen the argument.
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, but, first, if, may, regarding, second, so, still, then, third, while, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 79.0 55.5748502994 142% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2572.0 2260.96107784 114% => OK
No of words: 501.0 441.139720559 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.13373253493 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.73107062784 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78514717612 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.443113772455 0.468620217663 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 798.3 705.55239521 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.7852453611 57.8364921388 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.88 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.04 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.8 5.70786347227 67% => OK
Paragraphs: 18.0 5.15768463074 349% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.11581031537 0.218282227539 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0362519042333 0.0743258471296 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0418849623725 0.0701772020484 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0429708469372 0.128457276422 33% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0438272567874 0.0628817314937 70% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.32 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 98.500998004 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.