The following appeared on the Mozart School of Music Web site.
"The Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels; there is no audition to attend the school. Second, the school offers instruction in nearly all musical instruments as well a wide range of styles and genres from classical to rock. Third, the faculty includes some of the most distinguished musicians in the area. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to become well-known and highly paid professional musicians."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The Mozart School claims themselves as the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child for music learning for several reasons. However, each reason should be further examined before confirming the statement to be true.
First, there is no audition for children who are about to enroll which means the class is open to any level of the students. On one hand, it assumes that every student is welcomed if they are interested in learning music. On the other hand, it actually can create problem for mixing different levels of students in learning music together. For example, we are often to be classified into certain grade in formal education which enables the teaching quality can be well controlled and benefit the similar level of students. However, if there is no audition, it is problematic to distinguish different levels of students and actually may further decrease the teaching quality.
Second, the school mentions that they offer wide ranges of classes which provide diverse opportunities for students to learn. However, the potential negative side of this diversity is that the students may become overwhelmed with the choices and also may not be able to specialized in any type of the music. Therefore, many opportunities without further instruction to guide students to locate what type of instruments they want to master may decrease the learning outcome.
Third, though it is said that there are prestigious musicians among the faculties, it is unclear how many of the courses will be taught by these distinguished musicians. It is not uncommon some schools hire famous musicians but they only appear occasionally and not the prime teacher to lead the class. Hence, unless there is more details of the arrangement of the real practice relating to the famous musicians, it is difficult to say how much benefit can the students get from these professional faculties.
Last, it mentions that many graduates become professional musicians afterwards. However, it is questionable how many portion dedicated to the musicians' success comes from the education of the Mozart School. Those successful musicians may do participate in the Mozart School before, but there are lots of other factors will contribute to their success as well. Thus, it is premature to claim causation between professional musicians with the classes of Mozart School. Therefore, famous musicians doesn't guarantee the effectiveness of the class in Mozart School.
In conclusion, for the four aspects mentioned from the website, there are potential negative effects that are neglected based on insufficient assumptions, such as the poor class quality due to mix of different levels of students, as well as the confusion and lack of focus since there are too many class options without further instructions. Another problem is that, premature causation is made too quickly and draw to wrong conclusion. For example, though there are some professional faculties, it is unclear whether do they participate in daily teaching or not, so the quality is not assured. Also, famous musicians doesn't guarantee the success of the class etc.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 501 350
No. of Characters: 2569 1500
No. of Different Words: 230 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.731 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.128 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.751 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 197 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 158 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 104 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 71 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.773 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.438 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.909 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.308 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.572 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.091 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 318, Rule ID: THERE_S_MANY[4]
Message: Did you mean 'there are more details'?
Suggestion: there are more details
...eacher to lead the class. Hence, unless there is more details of the arrangement of the real practice...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 143, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'musicians'' or 'musician's'?
Suggestion: musicians'; musician's
...nable how many portion dedicated to the musicians success comes from the education of the...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 496, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...art School. Therefore, famous musicians doesnt guarantee the effectiveness of the clas...
^^^^^^
Line 11, column 619, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... is not assured. Also, famous musicians doesnt guarantee the success of the class etc....
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, hence, however, if, may, second, so, therefore, third, thus, well, for example, in conclusion, such as, as well as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.6327345309 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2639.0 2260.96107784 117% => OK
No of words: 499.0 441.139720559 113% => OK
Chars per words: 5.28857715431 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72634191566 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81748988356 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 238.0 204.123752495 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.476953907816 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 809.1 705.55239521 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.3795432099 57.8364921388 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.954545455 119.503703932 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.6818181818 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.31818181818 5.70786347227 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.231785717952 0.218282227539 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0740625289103 0.0743258471296 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0944150771573 0.0701772020484 135% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.13630295512 0.128457276422 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.123265218508 0.0628817314937 196% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 14.3799401198 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.7 12.5979740519 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.21 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 98.500998004 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.