The following appeared on the Mozart School of Music Web site.
"The Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels; there is no audition to attend the school. Second, the school offers instruction in nearly all musical instruments as well a wide range of styles and genres from classical to rock. Third, the faculty includes some of the most distinguished musicians in the area. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to become well-known and highly paid professional musicians."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The arguer claims that parents who want their child to learn music should consider the Mozart School of Music as the first choice. Because the school embraces all the young with different abilities and ages, and the lessons it offers include not only most kinds of instruments, but also various kinds of styles and genres from classical to rock. Moreover, the staff are outstanding, and their graduates have gone on to become celebrated musicians in the music area. However, the argument is not so convincing without several assumption.
Firstly, one assumption of the argument is that the lessons it offers are suitable and flexible for different children in their levels. Given to it welcomes the youngsters at different ages and abilities, the school are supposed to design various levels of courses related to childrens' situation. However, it may happen that Mozart school are so new to offer properly-designed courses.
Secondly, without assuming that the graduates form the school have improved thier professional music skills during their learning in the school. If a substantial number of Mozart gradutes only had temperary lessons in the school and soon left with unsatisfaction, then we cannot draw a conclusion that the Mozart School of Music plays a crucal role in developing their music skills, not to mention the significant promotion to their excellent performance in their music career. In addition, there is a great possiblity that the graduates themselves made great effects in becoming well-known, such as participating in musical competitions, attending professional musical summer camps, and so on, while the school just provides a series of regular lessons.
Thirdy, the arguer failed to assume that the teaching skills of the faculty are better than those in other music schools. It is likely that the most distinguished musicians are not so adept at teaching, since some of them might be tarciturn and modest. That is to say, when introducing professional musical knowledge to students, they cannot explain it clearly and vividly, thus the students will find it struggling to learn the professional skills, which triggers to deteriorating their firery in music.
To sum up, the argument have plentiful flaws without considering the assmuptions above.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 14 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 360 350
No. of Characters: 1874 1500
No. of Different Words: 195 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.356 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.206 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.803 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 149 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.817 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.857 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.343 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.611 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.102 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 518, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun assumption seems to be countable; consider using: 'several assumptions'.
Suggestion: several assumptions
...e argument is not so convincing without several assumption. Firstly, one assumption of the argu...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, third, thus, well, while, in addition, of course, such as, to sum up, that is to say
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1927.0 2260.96107784 85% => OK
No of words: 360.0 441.139720559 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.35277777778 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35587717469 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88230954849 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.555555555556 0.468620217663 119% => OK
syllable_count: 570.6 705.55239521 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 74.9820726873 57.8364921388 130% => OK
Chars per sentence: 137.642857143 119.503703932 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.7142857143 23.324526521 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.9285714286 5.70786347227 209% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.434284917601 0.218282227539 199% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.130723684426 0.0743258471296 176% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.117657924173 0.0701772020484 168% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.199156439171 0.128457276422 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.12296722194 0.0628817314937 196% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.6 14.3799401198 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.05 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.39 8.32208582834 113% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.