The following appeared on the Mozart School of Music Web site.
"The Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels; there is no audition to attend the school. Second, the school offers instruction in nearly all musical instruments as well a wide range of styles and genres from classical to rock. Third, the faculty includes some of the most distinguished musicians in the area. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to become well-known and highly paid professional musicians."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The author of the passage feels that Mozart School of Music must be the best option for parents to enroll their children in for music lessons. To support his stand he gives a few reasons. But, in my view, the author's claims are spurious and lie on unsubstantiated assumptions. To prove my reasoning, I have stated the following points.
Firstly, the author feels that it is good of Mozart School to consider students from any age group to take admission in their school, that too without any auditions. I feel that this policy adopted by the school can have pretty bad consequences in the future. For instance, the students seeking admission in this school would become too complacent and not properly focus on their music as they would think that they would anyways get admission into the school without having to prove anything. So I feel, that this policy is flawed and there would not be any competition between students to get into the school which would thereby damage the school's reputation.
Moreover, to sing praises of the school, the author says that the school offers instructions in nearly all musical instruments as well as wide range of styles and genres. However, I believe that offering a specialized training to one particular style or genre is a much better idea than offering instructions in various styles and genres. I say so because specialization or dedicated training in a particular style can be far more advantageous for the learner than to cope up with different styles simultaneously. That is why, I feel that the author's claims are unpersuasive and needs amendment.
Lastly, the author claims that the school's faculty includes some of the best and the school's graduates have gone on to become popular and heftily paid professional musicians. However, the author's claims here lack evidence. The author's claims are not supported by any proof or data that could prove this. Had the author specified any statistical report or rankings for the same it would have bolstered the author's claims. So, I feel that the author's claims are unsubstantiated and lacks any piece of evidence.
Therefore, in conclusion the author's claims about the school being the best option for parents to get their children enrolled in are faulty and do not hold any ground. Had the author kept the above suggestions in mind, it would have bolstered the author's claims. To make the argument believable, the author must include pieces of evidence that support the claims and make the argument well-reasoned.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 420 350
No. of Characters: 2057 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.527 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.898 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.657 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 156 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.307 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.376 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.584 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.15 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 643, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'schools'' or 'school's'?
Suggestion: schools'; school's
...e school which would thereby damage the schools reputation. Moreover, to sing praise...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 36, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'schools'' or 'school's'?
Suggestion: schools'; school's
.... Lastly, the author claims that the schools faculty includes some of the best and t...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 236, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[1]
Message: You should probably use 'claim'.
Suggestion: claim
... claims here lack evidence. The authors claims are not supported by any proof or data ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 480, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e authors claims are unsubstantiated and lacks any piece of evidence. Therefor...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
anyway, but, first, firstly, however, if, lastly, moreover, so, therefore, well, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, as well as, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 28.8173652695 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2101.0 2260.96107784 93% => OK
No of words: 420.0 441.139720559 95% => OK
Chars per words: 5.00238095238 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52701905584 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71867960982 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.471428571429 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 629.1 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.8326666623 57.8364921388 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.05 119.503703932 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.0 5.70786347227 123% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.221871448283 0.218282227539 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0702551620417 0.0743258471296 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0975845246495 0.0701772020484 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.134479846865 0.128457276422 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0766614723261 0.0628817314937 122% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.72 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.84 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 98.500998004 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.