The following appeared on the Mozart School of Music Web site. "The Mozart School of Music should be the first choice for parents considering enrolling their child in music lessons. First of all, the Mozart School welcomes youngsters at all ability and age levels; there is no audition to attend the school. Second, the school offers instruction in nearly all musical instruments as well as a wide range of styles and genres from classical to rock. Third, the faculty includes some of the most distinguished musicians in the area. Finally, many Mozart graduates have gone on to become well-known and highly paid professional musicians."
The website of the school suggests that the mozart is the most desirable music school and gives a few reason why that is, but the suggestion is based on series of assumptions which will be certainly dissected by the potential student or by his/her guardian
Our brain should learn the things at the pace which is meant to be for example, fundamental mathematics should be thought first and then the higher level mathematics,the website states that "the school welcomes student of all ages and they will teach them variety of music styles and instruments" but the proper progression of the curriculum is not mentioned and the statement itself is ambiguous-what actually encompasses all musical instruments and wide variety of styles? proper detailing of the structure is missing which might go against them
There is no mentioned of any specilization in the music, they said they cover all styles and instruments but at which depth they will teach is not mentioned, learning things at superficial level is not helpful and the statement "all instruments and all styles" looks tempting but one should/will question what is the at the which this styles and instruments are thought
School also suggested that they have best local musicians to teach the students hence they should be the first choice but what if the other schools have more renowed teachers from all over the world that would certainly undermine the capability of mozart school.
Website says the students of mozart school have gone on to do great in life after learning music from them, this might be true but statement few assumptions first breaking in music industry in tough and whether the school helped the student that break or student got it by own due to his contacts would be one interesting question that people may ask, the talent of a student and school's ability to teach are not co-related and the school is taking credit for it
The reasons gave by school to join them are very ambiguous and few questions might be raised by potential students, they should explain the reasoning with more precise details
Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 166, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...st and then the higher level mathematics,the website states that 'the school we...
^^^^
Line 3, column 461, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... encompasses all musical instruments and wide variety of styles? proper detailing...
^^
Line 3, column 487, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Proper
...nstruments and wide variety of styles? proper detailing of the structure is missing w...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 33, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[4]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'have the best'.
Suggestion: have the best
...ught School also suggested that they have best local musicians to teach the students h...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, hence, if, look, may, so, then, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 11.1786427146 197% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1766.0 2260.96107784 78% => OK
No of words: 351.0 441.139720559 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.03133903134 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32839392791 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71367184871 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 204.123752495 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.490028490028 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 508.5 705.55239521 72% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 3.0 19.7664670659 15% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 117.0 22.8473053892 512% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 44.4622186681 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 588.666666667 119.503703932 493% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 117.0 23.324526521 502% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 23.6666666667 5.70786347227 415% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 6.88822355289 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.336722141223 0.218282227539 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.256407159284 0.0743258471296 345% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0343483720438 0.0701772020484 49% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.181376499744 0.128457276422 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.071088410143 0.0628817314937 113% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 60.8 14.3799401198 423% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -30.36 48.3550499002 -63% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 15.9 7.1628742515 222% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 46.6 12.197005988 382% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 13.08 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 12.77 8.32208582834 153% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 98.500998004 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 57.0 12.3882235529 460% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 48.8 11.1389221557 438% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 166, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...st and then the higher level mathematics,the website states that 'the school we...
^^^^
Line 3, column 461, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... encompasses all musical instruments and wide variety of styles? proper detailing...
^^
Line 3, column 487, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Proper
...nstruments and wide variety of styles? proper detailing of the structure is missing w...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 33, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[4]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'have the best'.
Suggestion: have the best
...ught School also suggested that they have best local musicians to teach the students h...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, hence, if, look, may, so, then, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 11.1786427146 197% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1766.0 2260.96107784 78% => OK
No of words: 351.0 441.139720559 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.03133903134 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32839392791 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71367184871 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 204.123752495 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.490028490028 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 508.5 705.55239521 72% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 3.0 19.7664670659 15% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 117.0 22.8473053892 512% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 44.4622186681 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 588.666666667 119.503703932 493% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 117.0 23.324526521 502% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 23.6666666667 5.70786347227 415% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 6.88822355289 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.336722141223 0.218282227539 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.256407159284 0.0743258471296 345% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0343483720438 0.0701772020484 49% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.181376499744 0.128457276422 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.071088410143 0.0628817314937 113% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 60.8 14.3799401198 423% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -30.36 48.3550499002 -63% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 15.9 7.1628742515 222% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 46.6 12.197005988 382% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 13.08 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 12.77 8.32208582834 153% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 98.500998004 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 57.0 12.3882235529 460% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 48.8 11.1389221557 438% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.