The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine.
"A recent study rating 300 male and female advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than six hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. On the basis of this study, we recommend that businesses hire only people who need less than six hours of sleep per night."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the given argument, according a study published in a business magazine the author suggested that if companies employ executives who need less than six hours sleep per night, they will experience higher profit margin and faster growth. The conclusion is convincing at first glance, however to strengthen the conclusion, the author needs to address below questions.
The most crucial question is that whether the presented relationship between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms is reliable. Even if the survey is reliable and representative enough, the correlation always does not mean causation and maybe it is only a coincidence. Perhaps, success of firms have reached by other reasons. For example, the industry is in its boom cycle or staff of the firm are well educated and experienced, thus success of the firms is not related to number of hours that an executive sleeps at nights. To bolster the proposal, the author ought to do research on reasons of success in firms.
It is provincial to relate profit margin and growth of a company to amount of sleep of manager at nights. It is true that the role of top manager affects the growth of companies drastically, however it is because of skills of the manager rather hours of sleep at night. It is likely that the manager is talented, assiduous and well educated, so the success of the company is because of these characteristics not amount of sleeping. To strengthen the argument, it is suggested the author do research on accentuate traits of successful managers.
Another flaw of argument is recommendation to employ only managers who need less than six hours of sleep per night. Granting, working more could lead to a better result, it also decrease the efficiency. Managers who work a lot, may lose their concentration and make terrible mistakes, as a result less sleep at night may has adversarial effect on performance of the company on long run. Additionally, even if the manager did not need more than six hours for sleeping, the study did not indicate that they used the saved time for their firms. It is likely, they spend their time with families or friends, so they did not work and the success of their firm is not related to amount of their sleep at night.
In short, as discussed, the proposal has many flaws and jump into conclusion would be hast. To champion the proposal, the author should answers the aforementioned questions.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- duplicated to argument 1
argument 3 -- not OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 415 350
No. of Characters: 1980 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.513 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.771 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.666 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.056 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.403 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.567 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 271, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...manager rather hours of sleep at night. It is likely that the manager is talented,...
^^
Line 7, column 179, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'decreases'?
Suggestion: decreases
... could lead to a better result, it also decrease the efficiency. Managers who work a lot...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, may, so, then, thus, well, for example, in short, as a result, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2040.0 2260.96107784 90% => OK
No of words: 415.0 441.139720559 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.9156626506 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51348521516 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77346780681 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.469879518072 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 613.8 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.6424983357 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.333333333 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0555555556 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.5 5.70786347227 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.18837437079 0.218282227539 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0555478161482 0.0743258471296 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0607419084808 0.0701772020484 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0967690623362 0.128457276422 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0527590390598 0.0628817314937 84% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.55 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.97 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 98.500998004 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.