The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
Statement explains an experiment conducted on 18 rhesus monkeys. Result of experiment uncovered the connection between birth order and levels of stimulation. Also, the some study was conducted on pregnant mother monkeys regarding hormone levels.
Normally scientific experiments involve huge number of samples and they are exhaustive and comprehensive. To arrive to a conclusion it necessary to have a lot of test data. One cannot merely state something using small test data. Given statement mentions that the experiment involved only 18 rhesus monkeys. 18 is very small number to arrive at conclusion. To prove that first born infant monkeys produce more hormones than their younger siblings, test data on a large number of monkeys required. Also the test was conducted on infant monkeys, so test results are not applicable to adult monkeys, as both adult monkeys and infant monkeys are different. Moreover, Experiment involved only rhesus monkeys, statement does not mention about any other animals, so the results are unique to infant rhesus monkeys.
Same type of study conducted on mother monkeys shows that first time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than those monkeys who had had more off springs. Statement does not provide information about details of the experiment like, the test involved how many mother monkeys? What was the environment like simulated or natural? There might be other alternative reasons for high levels of cortisol in mother monkeys. Experiment results cannot be universalized.
It is also possible that, cortisol hormone in rhesus monkeys, has other influencing factors, and this information is not provided by the statement. And monkeys may react differently to different simulating situations. Experiment conditions also play an important role. Statement does not shed any light on the type of experimental environment, whether the experiment is conducted in monkeys’ natural habitat or it is an simulated environment. Test results may vary greatly based on this factor also.
Results from experiments conducted on a smaller specimen group with certain characteristics cannot be generalized to a closely related larger specimen group, as each specimen group has varying characteristics. To infer that birth order can influence stimulating situations more through study involving much larger data is required.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.0 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 360 350
No. of Characters: 1956 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.356 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.433 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.806 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 161 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 128 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.652 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.34 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.391 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.325 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.509 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.078 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 169, Rule ID: THE_SOME_DAY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'same'?
Suggestion: same
...er and levels of stimulation. Also, the some study was conducted on pregnant mother ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 462, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...an their younger siblings, test data on a large number of monkeys required. Also the test was con...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 498, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... on a large number of monkeys required. Also the test was conducted on infant monkey...
^^^^
Line 5, column 138, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: had
...vels of cortisol than those monkeys who had had more off springs. Statement does not pr...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 418, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...ed in monkeys’ natural habitat or it is an simulated environment. Test results may...
^^
Line 7, column 495, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...s may vary greatly based on this factor also. Results from experiments conducted ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, may, moreover, regarding, so
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 28.8173652695 45% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 55.5748502994 77% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2013.0 2260.96107784 89% => OK
No of words: 360.0 441.139720559 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.59166666667 5.12650576532 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35587717469 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90658973522 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.522222222222 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 630.9 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 47.0307384502 57.8364921388 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.5217391304 119.503703932 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.652173913 23.324526521 67% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.95652173913 5.70786347227 34% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 6.88822355289 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 14.0 4.67664670659 299% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.153024635666 0.218282227539 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0451105894191 0.0743258471296 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0485138310581 0.0701772020484 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0978324665623 0.128457276422 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0347414536751 0.0628817314937 55% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 39.33 48.3550499002 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.85 12.5979740519 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.77 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 98.500998004 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 12.3882235529 44% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.