The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author of the letter to the scientific journal concludes that the order of birth will have an effect on an individual's levels of stimulation. He comes to this conclusion based on the findings from a study of eighteen rhesus monkeys which showed that first born monkeys had twice the amount of cortisol than their younger siblings as well as the tendency of first born humans to produce relatively high levels of cortisol. The argument, though convincing at first glance, upon further contemplation, there seems to be alternate explanations that would account for a similar behavior.
Firstly, the author asserts that the first born monkeys produce higher levels of cortisol in the events of stimulation such as encountering an unfamiliar monkey based on the study of eighteen rhesus monkeys. However, the sample size chosen for the study may not be sufficient to come to a conclusion decisively. There is a possibility that the first born monkeys in this sample produced higher levels of cortisol while in the larger population of rhesus monkeys, there is no such correlation. If such is the scenario where the cortisol levels are high only in this particular sample of monkeys, then the author's conclusion is untenable.
Secondly, the author claims that the first born rhesus monkeys produced twice as much cortisol as their younger siblings in the event of stimulation. However, this claim may be spurious in as much as the author does not provide any details about how the study was carried out. Perhaps, the methods used for measuring the cortisol levels in the first borns and their younger siblings were different and hence, the cortisol levels are different. Furthermore, it is possible that the first borns and their younger siblings were subjected to different stimulations. If any of the scenarios has merit, then the author's argument is siginificantly weakened.
Finally, the first born rhesus monkeys produced higher levels of cortisol than their younger siblings may be because they felt more responsible to protect their younger siblings and hence, such mind set made their bodies to produce higher cortisol. There is a possibility the younger siblings would produce the same amount of cortisol if the first borns were not present in such stimulating situations. If this is the case, then the author's conclusion does not hold water.
Therefore, the argument, as it stands, is unpersuasive as there are alternate explanations that would account for the findings in the study. One will be in a better position to evaluate the argument if the author furnishes further details that would rule out the above alternate explanations.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 430 350
No. of Characters: 2179 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.554 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.067 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.657 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.294 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.428 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.941 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.384 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.597 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 413, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ample produced higher levels of cortisol while in the larger population of rhesus...
^^
Line 4, column 606, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... particular sample of monkeys, then the authors conclusion is untenable. Secondly, t...
^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 72, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t the first born rhesus monkeys produced twice as much cortisol as their younger ...
^^
Line 6, column 608, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ny of the scenarios has merit, then the authors argument is siginificantly weakened. ...
^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 434, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...tuations. If this is the case, then the authors conclusion does not hold water. Ther...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, firstly, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, well, while, such as, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2229.0 2260.96107784 99% => OK
No of words: 430.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.18372093023 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55372829156 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74681486226 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 174.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.404651162791 0.468620217663 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 679.5 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.4119666169 57.8364921388 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.117647059 119.503703932 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.2941176471 23.324526521 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.88235294118 5.70786347227 138% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.169140136913 0.218282227539 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0643426153594 0.0743258471296 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0853562004304 0.0701772020484 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.103694392256 0.128457276422 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.085505365827 0.0628817314937 136% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 14.3799401198 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.06 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.85 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 98.500998004 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.