The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The above issue provides a view about the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. As firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol as well as firstborn humans also do the same. This primes the body for increased activity, as do their younger siblings.
However, these results can’t be the same all time. The survey was done only between eighteen monkeys. For example, it’s not necessary that the habit that the eighteen monkeys possess must the other monkeys have to possess the same habit. In every survey, the survey must be proceeded at least among 100 people so that the result come out must be veritable and cogent. But if the survey is done in between only few people the result of the survey is equivocal. As in the above issue the survey is offered only between eighteen monkeys so there are higher possibilities that the results came out is not accurate.
Another important factor is the health condition of all the creatures in the universe is not same. The health condition is varied from person to person. The immune system of one person may possess higher quality of symptoms and other may face difficult immune system containing various problems and difficulties. So for that reason it may possible for some monkeys as well as humans that they can’t able produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations during their first pregnancy period. And it’s possible that some monkeys possess high level of physical condition that they can able to produce high levels of cortisol during their second pregnancy period. So it may possible with high immune and respiration system they can able to create high levels of cortisol.
In conclusion, it can be posited that as pregnancy is a health condition and it’s circumstances vary from creature to creature. Only on the basis of a survey it can’t be stated that monkeys and human can able to produce high levels of cortisol only in stimulating situations of their first pregnancy period. Now the medical technology is very advanced and it provides some revolutionary results. So by the grace of almighty and also the revolution of technology it can be possible to produce high levels of cortisol in the next number of pregnancy. And only a few survey can’t able to determine the health condition of all the monkeys and humans.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
here goes a sample:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-2-outline
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 401 350
No. of Characters: 1931 1500
No. of Different Words: 162 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.475 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.815 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.506 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 154 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.05 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.103 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.327 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.524 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 471, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... the result of the survey is equivocal. As in the above issue the survey is offere...
^^
Line 7, column 571, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun survey seems to be countable; consider using: 'few surveys'.
Suggestion: few surveys
...he next number of pregnancy. And only a few survey can't able to determine the health...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, second, so, well, at least, for example, in conclusion, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2000.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 401.0 441.139720559 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.98753117207 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47492842339 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63777458091 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 165.0 204.123752495 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.411471321696 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 639.0 705.55239521 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.6430240485 57.8364921388 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.0 119.503703932 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.05 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.1 5.70786347227 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.146428806324 0.218282227539 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0535084903967 0.0743258471296 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0633696839072 0.0701772020484 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.100493047997 0.128457276422 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0291806989965 0.0628817314937 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.3799401198 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.82 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 98.500998004 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 12.3882235529 52% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.