The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument
The above study finds out the effects of birth order on an individual’s levels of stimulation based on the evidence that, first born infant monkeys are more active than their younger siblings for producing more than twice much hormone cortisol. The study also found high level of cortisol in first time mother monkey’s body. As similar behaviour of producing high cortisol by first born human is observed, the scientists come to this conclusion. However, there are some other possibilities that might challenge the explanation.
First of all, there might be some other hormonal phenomenon apart from cortisol for which younger siblings are less active than the eldest child. There are other medical evidences that show that, lack of proper nutrients, vitamins are responsible for an individual’s inactivity whether he is the first born child or younger. If these evidences are true, then the explanation that, first born child being more active due to solely high level cortisol, proves wrong.
The second reason which perhaps is more plausible, is the genetic effect. Genetics might play a big role in this case which hasn’t been considered. The activity of level of both parents is also needed to note down to study individual’s activity level. Genetic science has proved that, many physical and psychological natures of father and mother repeat in their children through generations. Based on this point, the reason behind a person’s inactivity can’t be attributed to cortisol level only.
The above two explanations indicate that, the fact - birth order affects individual’s stimulation is flawed. For the validation of this result more medical evidences regarding hormones, genetics are required.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 269 350
No. of Characters: 1401 1500
No. of Different Words: 153 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.05 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.208 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.591 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 96 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 73 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.214 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.428 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.553 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.075 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, regarding, second, so, then, apart from, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.9520958084 31% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 15.0 28.8173652695 52% => OK
Preposition: 30.0 55.5748502994 54% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1491.0 2260.96107784 66% => OK
No of words: 268.0 441.139720559 61% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.56343283582 5.12650576532 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.04607285448 4.56307096286 89% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99870758911 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 153.0 204.123752495 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.570895522388 0.468620217663 122% => OK
syllable_count: 464.4 705.55239521 66% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.7261703301 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.5 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1428571429 23.324526521 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.70786347227 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 6.88822355289 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.135802039465 0.218282227539 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0511689637028 0.0743258471296 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0620259500312 0.0701772020484 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0913085937111 0.128457276422 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0440553636502 0.0628817314937 70% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.73 48.3550499002 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.97 12.5979740519 119% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.88 8.32208582834 107% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 98.500998004 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.