The following appeared as part of a petition sent to residents of Youngtown by an environmental protection group:
“The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve. This sanctuary is essential to the survival of the 300 bird species that live in our area. Although only a small percentage of the land will be sold to Smith, the proposed development will have disastrous consequences for our area. The company plans to build a small hotel on the land. Although they have promised to ensure the preservation of the sanctuary, there is no way that their plans will do anything but harm the sanctuary. There are no circumstances under which this sale will benefit our community, which relies on tourists who visit primarily to see our magnificent bird population.”
In the petition it is written that the Smith Corporation should not be allowed to develop anything on the land which originally belongs to the Youngtown Wildelife Preserve. They says that if the land is sold to the Smith Corporation then it will have adverse affect on the flora and fauna of the Preserve. The Smith Corporation is planning to open a hotel for tourists who would visit the preserve to see the maginificent bird population of the Youngtown Wildelife Preserve. Although the allegations of the petition might be true but there is no proper evidences provided that will gain a favor in support of the petition. Hence, the argument is based on numerous assumptions that are discussed in the essay.
Firsly, in the petition it is written that by opening a hotel it would hinder the equilibrium of the area but it is not thoroughly mentioned that what are the actual adverse effects. Also, there is no previous records or evidences against the Smith Corporation that will help the protection group to have a soild point against them. Just by merely stating agains the Corporation would not help the production group to succeed in having a positive affect of the petition.
Secondly, it is written in the petition that the construction of the hotel and the emergence of the touristis would not benefit the locals can be proved wrong. As it is always seen that near such places only the locals are hired as the employees. This will definitely bolster the lives of the people of the residents as their source of income might increase. Therefore, the hotel might help people to have a inclination towards a better life.
Thirdly, in the petition it is nowhere mentioned that how the construction of the hotel will result in the affliction of the preserve. Also, not a single previous records are given of such sanctuaries in which construction and tourism is made and it resulted negatively. Therefore, the environmental protection group has failed to mentioned the evidences at viable places where they were highly required.
In the end, I would end my essay by stating that it might be a certain probability that such changes will have negative affect on the wildelife but proper evidences are not presented and hence this dearth has resulted in focusing on the points that might have a positive turnout for the wildelife or the locals.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 400 350
No. of Characters: 1915 1500
No. of Different Words: 175 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.472 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.788 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.673 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.5 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.688 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.353 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.586 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 179, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'They' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'say'
Suggestion: say
... the Youngtown Wildelife Preserve. They says that if the land is sold to the Smith C...
^^^^
Line 1, column 260, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
...h Corporation then it will have adverse affect on the flora and fauna of the Preserve. Th...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 407, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...re, the hotel might help people to have a inclination towards a better life. T...
^
Line 7, column 164, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'record'?
Suggestion: record
...e preserve. Also, not a single previous records are given of such sanctuaries in which ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 121, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
...ty that such changes will have negative affect on the wildelife but proper evidences are ...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, third, thirdly
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1956.0 2260.96107784 87% => OK
No of words: 400.0 441.139720559 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.89 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.472135955 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7290108098 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.4325 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 612.9 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.8874984943 57.8364921388 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.25 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0 23.324526521 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.6875 5.70786347227 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.183189303989 0.218282227539 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0598957793205 0.0743258471296 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0627412428457 0.0701772020484 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.093445252096 0.128457276422 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0652048389453 0.0628817314937 104% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 14.3799401198 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.38 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.31 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 98.500998004 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.