The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a
ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava.
"The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only
one-half that of five years ago. Thus, the number of students enrolled in our
public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce
the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time,
we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational
facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities
and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult
population of the city to increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to
evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or
strengthen the argument.
The committee recommend decline the education budget and the budget for athletic playing fields during the next ten-years. They claim that the adult population will increase in Calatrava. The committee assume some unwarranted assumptions, and as a result, the recommendation seems unsound. Therefore, they need to examine some concrete evidence to reach to a more accurate and logical decision.
First of all, the committee use the last year’s birth-rate to conclude that the total birth-rate is decreasing. It would not be a logical and solid evidence for deciding about the next decade’s population and budget. It’s possible that last year was an exception in the past five years. For example, in the last year, due to the COVID, many couples decided to postpone to have a child because they felt insecure about the world’s future and their health. However, now, after the broad vaccinations, they would feel better to bring a child to this world. There is no guarantee that in the next ten year, the population will not grow. Maybe, Calatrava has attracted other people to move to this city with their children due to its current education and sport facilities. Therefore, the committee cannot take the last year’s statistics as a solid evidence. It’s likely that in the next future, the birthrate or the children population will be increased. If this evidence proves to be true, the recommendation will be invalid.
Moreover, the committee assume that the recreational facilities and the athletic playing fields would not be used as before and they can reduce this part’s budget. There is no accurate evidence in the argument that who used these facilities. Perhaps, the adult population always use playing fields sports and use the recreational facilities. Hence, reducing the budget for these sections would not be a great idea. The argument fails to provide any evidence about the age ranges that used this facilities and sport. With having this information, the committee will recommend a more helpful plan for Calatrava.
All in all, the original argument, as it stands now, if flawed due to the lack of concrete evidence. The committee examine some pieces of evidence and maybe use a systematic study to be able to reach a conclusion about Calatrava planning budget for the next ten years.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 378 350
No. of Characters: 1875 1500
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.409 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.96 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.61 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 99 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.182 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.202 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.455 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.304 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.304 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.024 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 360, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'postpone having'.
Suggestion: postpone having
...e to the COVID, many couples decided to postpone to have a child because they felt insecure abou...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 489, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...evidence about the age ranges that used this facilities and sport. With having this ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, hence, however, if, may, moreover, so, therefore, for example, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 55.5748502994 67% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1941.0 2260.96107784 86% => OK
No of words: 378.0 441.139720559 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.13492063492 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40933352052 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7343147994 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 174.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.460317460317 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 605.7 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.2075807354 57.8364921388 52% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 88.2272727273 119.503703932 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.1818181818 23.324526521 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.31818181818 5.70786347227 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.219389134577 0.218282227539 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0675420566351 0.0743258471296 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0605866606255 0.0701772020484 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.129197098206 0.128457276422 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0631810683521 0.0628817314937 100% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.53 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 98.500998004 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 12.3882235529 57% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.