The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten year budget for the city of Calatrava The birthrate in our city is declining in fact last year s birthrate was only one half that of five years ago Thus the number of students enroll

Essay topics:

The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava.

"The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

The committee put forth their proposal of using the funds that can be saved in the future for adults. They express the causes of saving funds as reduction of the birth rate that may reduce the enrollment in public schools which may probably help to cutoff expenses from funds of the educational athletic and recreational facilities. This is quite dubious kind of reasoning based on some predictions. Thus it would not be possible to accept it without any strong reasonable proof.
While describing the possibilities the author makes a statement that reduction of the birthrate i.e. currently being experienced may consequently reduce the enrollment rate. Though this seems to be obvious, but such implication is not acceptable without considering alternative situations. There can be a case in which some students for enrollment may migrate to the city. Also, it is possible that some birth remained unrecorded and thus, the statistics shows reduced results. It is also possible that in future birthrate may increase drastically, which may also give rise to higher funds than current. Thus, without consideration of all such scenarios no conclusion can be made.
The author assumes that if enrollment reduces apparantly due to the reduction in birthrate, the funds from the athletics and recreational facilities can be narrowed. The expenses of athletics and recreational activities may not primarily depend on the enrollment rate. Some other factors that may demands higher funds for these activities are as follows - the rise in the cost of the equipments required, enrollment of good players may demand good provisions, the participation in the events and also, the importance of these activities for the fame and growth of the school must be considered. After consideration of these factors, the authors statement can be proved flawed.
Further, the author tells us about the plan of using the saved fund for the adults in future. Though this seems to be amicable idea by the committee, need to evaluate it. One must make an estimate of the expenses requirement for the adults before making any decisions. One must evaluate whether the current available funds will not be enough in the future. Also, it must be checked whether there are other more vital investment requirements in future, rather than this. The conclusion made on the basis of all such factors is only acceptable.
Finally, the committee need to bring up some detailed study and evidences before making any statement. All factors affecting the birthrate, funds for educational benefits and adults fund requirement must be done precisely.

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Average: 5.8 (2 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 401, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...of reasoning based on some predictions. Thus it would not be possible to accept it w...
^^^^
Line 1, column 481, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...it without any strong reasonable proof. While describing the possibilities the author...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 634, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... current. Thus, without consideration of all such scenarios no conclusion can be ...
^^
Line 3, column 637, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ter consideration of these factors, the authors statement can be proved flawed. Furthe...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 84, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
... of using the saved fund for the adults in future. Though this seems to be amicable idea ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 204, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'expenses'' or 'expense's'?
Suggestion: expenses'; expense's
...te it. One must make an estimate of the expenses requirement for the adults before makin...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 441, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...ther more vital investment requirements in future, rather than this. The conclusion made ...
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, finally, if, may, so, thus, while, kind of

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 12.9520958084 178% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2192.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 419.0 441.139720559 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.23150357995 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52432199235 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.87236421619 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.486873508353 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 688.5 705.55239521 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 58.8485414131 57.8364921388 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.6363636364 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.0454545455 23.324526521 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.04545454545 5.70786347227 53% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0794160962572 0.218282227539 36% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0274720328985 0.0743258471296 37% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0210502916864 0.0701772020484 30% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0482695308389 0.128457276422 38% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0149967019224 0.0628817314937 24% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.05 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.61 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 98.500998004 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 419 350
No. of Characters: 2145 1500
No. of Different Words: 195 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.524 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.119 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.798 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 153 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 69 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.045 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.403 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.295 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.295 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.06 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5