The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.
"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades, food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In this memo the writer claims that Salicylates which is from the same family as aspirin can cause to reduction in headaches and concludes that as it is being used in food-processing industry it will reduce the amount of headaches in future. However, he has some assumptions that makes this argument a flawed one. First, assuming that if two chemicals are in the same family, their function will be similar is an assumption which is not always true. Second, other factors that may had effects on their twenty-year study are ignored by referring reduction in headaches to a sole reason which is using Salicylates by food-processing companies. Third, the writer supposes that food-processing company's workers acts like a pharmacist and measure amount of every flavor and matter which is used in their products. Mentioned reasons will be elaborated in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin, the writer believes that similar chemical family leads to similarity in function. However, this is not always true. For instance, NaCl and HCl are both acids and their chemical structure looks the same. Nevertheless, one of them is salt which is eaten and another is a highly acidic substance which is lethal. That is to say, if Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin it will not guarantee that Salicylates will prevent headaches as aspirin do.
Next, it seems that some factors are ignored in the twenty-years study. First, the writer is linking two independent facts to make a conclusion. If food-processing companies are using more Salicylates in their production it doesn't mean that people who participated in the study were using those type of materials. Perhaps most of them were vegetarians who used organic foods without any flavors or preservatives. Thus, this substance couldn't have any effects on them. Another point is that, the writer is assuming all the participants of the study were honest. That's while many participants may unconsciously act differently to make result of the study better. For instance, they may use aspirin without telling it to researchers. Thus, he shouldn't assume that participants who were in an uncontrolled situation for twenty years were honest at all.
At last; the writer falsely presumes that food-processing companies work like pharmacists. In most cases those companies think about profit and good taste. That is to say, they may not measure amount of flavors and preservatives and they possibly do not study effect of those materials on consumers. This means, it is possible that between people's heath and better taste, food-processing companies give priority to better taste. Therefore, they use that matter more than the amount which body needs and it may have bad consequences on people. For instance, fluoride has positive effect on teeth. However, if it is used excessively it can ruin teeth. Hence, using more amount of a material, is not equal to more positive effects.
To sum it up, this argument is based on assumptions which are not proved. Therefore, the writer should explain about exact function of Salicylates in human's body to prove it is similar to aspirin. Moreover, method of researching and controlling participants of the twenty-year study should be stated clearly to clarify whether Salicylates had any effect on decrease of headaches or not. Furthermore, the way food-processing companies add Salicylates should be scrutinized to find whether they study effects of flavors on costumer's bodies or they just add flavors for better taste. Briefly, without examining mentioned issues one cannot rely on information of this flawed argument.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 33 15
No. of Words: 585 350
No. of Characters: 2972 1500
No. of Different Words: 249 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.918 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.08 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.92 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 215 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 158 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 110 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 80 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.727 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.844 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.246 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.422 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.067 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 232, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
... it will reduce the amount of headaches in future. However, he has some assumptions that ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 145, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...independent facts to make a conclusion. If food-processing companies are using mor...
^^
Line 3, column 224, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...more Salicylates in their production it doesnt mean that people who participated in th...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 434, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
... or preservatives. Thus, this substance couldnt have any effects on them. Another point...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 561, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: That's
... participants of the study were honest. Thats while many participants may unconscious...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 740, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: shouldn't
...out telling it to researchers. Thus, he shouldnt assume that participants who were in an...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
briefly, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, look, may, moreover, nevertheless, second, so, therefore, third, thus, while, for instance, in most cases, that is to say
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 38.0 19.6327345309 194% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 28.0 13.6137724551 206% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 55.0 28.8173652695 191% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 55.5748502994 128% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3040.0 2260.96107784 134% => OK
No of words: 582.0 441.139720559 132% => OK
Chars per words: 5.22336769759 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.91168771031 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96869628205 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 259.0 204.123752495 127% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.445017182131 0.468620217663 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 951.3 705.55239521 135% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 4.96107784431 282% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 33.0 19.7664670659 167% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 48.7262550776 57.8364921388 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.1212121212 119.503703932 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.6363636364 23.324526521 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.15151515152 5.70786347227 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.181897575237 0.218282227539 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0460816375361 0.0743258471296 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0567416768056 0.0701772020484 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.115112787507 0.128457276422 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0475048241857 0.0628817314937 76% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.7 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.9 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 126.0 98.500998004 128% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.