The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.
"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades, food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The summart of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of mentia indicates that there will be continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizens of mentia. To buttress the argument, the author cites the following evidence: first, salicylates are members of same chemical family as aspirin, which can be used for treating headaches; second, the twenty-year study indicates that due to addition of salicylates into the commercial use, headaches reported has be decreased; finally, when dalicylates would be utilized as flavor additives for foods. Tough the issue has its merit, because of lack of convincing evidences and unaddressed assumptions, the conclusion is unsubstantiated.
To begin with, the author assumes that members from same chemical family have same treatment that can be used as medicine. The assumption, however, is ungrounded. Since the chemical compositions are very complex and even the position of one element change can lead to dramatic properties of certain products. Thus, even though aspirin and salicylates are from the same chemical family and aspirin is beneficial to alleviating headaches, we cannot readily suggest that salicylates have the same effect. it is likely that salicyclates do not serve for any medical purposes.
Furthermore, the author concludes the usefulness of salicylates by showing the study on relationship between commercial use of salicylates and number of headaches. Noneless, many other potential factors remian unexamined. For example, people today pay more attention to health problems and are prone to physical exercise than those twenty years ago. In this case, the amount of headaches can be declined significantly without the input of salicylates. In addition, the study only investigated the average number of headaches reported. The number reported does not necessarily the same is the true number of headaches. if some people are not willing to report their personal information or forget to report, then the data collected by the study is questionable and conclusion can be unwarranted as well. The author also fails to provide more detailed information of this study? Where does the study take place? Who are the participants? Did all participants eat salicylates? What are the causes of their headaches. if the study is based on citizens in other regions, that it cannot represent poeple in mentia.
Last but not least, the new use does not necessarily decline the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of mentia. if the percentage of salicylates used as flavor additivies is discular, then they could be ineffective even if they are helpful for relatively large douse. we are also not given the specific foods that are added salicylates. are most people willing to buy these kinds of food? if all those foods are not commonly eaten by citizens, then again the impact of such change is not crucial. Another negative effect brought by this change falls in the condition that people falsely believe that all their headache can be reduced and therefore have instensively riskier behaviors, such as drinking alchohoals and smoking. Owing to alteration of their living habits and perfoming with unhealthy actions, people might be more likely to be suffered from headache.
In conclusion, as it stands, the conclusion is relied on imcomplete and certain problematic evidences that curtail the credibility of the summary. To further strengthen the validity of argument, the author is recommended to add the evidences as follows: first, whether salicylates have the same medical property as aspirin; second, whether the study is valid for our current situations and whether the data are precisely collected; third, whether foods with new flavor additives will be purchased and eaten by most individuals and whether people will keep their normal livings.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 609 350
No. of Characters: 3185 1500
No. of Different Words: 275 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.968 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.23 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.803 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 247 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 192 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 137 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 94 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.375 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 20.88 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.265 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.455 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.067 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 498, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'been'.
Suggestion: been
... commercial use, headaches reported has be decreased; finally, when dalicylates wo...
^^
Line 3, column 503, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
... that salicylates have the same effect. it is likely that salicyclates do not serv...
^^
Line 5, column 619, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...e same is the true number of headaches. if some people are not willing to report t...
^^
Line 5, column 1015, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...What are the causes of their headaches. if the study is based on citizens in other...
^^
Line 7, column 129, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...fered by the average citizen of mentia. if the percentage of salicylates used as f...
^^
Line 7, column 285, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
...are helpful for relatively large douse. we are also not given the specific foods t...
^^
Line 7, column 354, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Are
...cific foods that are added salicylates. are most people willing to buy these kinds ...
^^^
Line 7, column 406, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...ple willing to buy these kinds of food? if all those foods are not commonly eaten ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, furthermore, however, if, second, so, then, therefore, third, thus, well, for example, in addition, in conclusion, such as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 37.0 19.6327345309 188% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 55.5748502994 128% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3272.0 2260.96107784 145% => OK
No of words: 609.0 441.139720559 138% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.37274220033 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.96768813016 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9025328371 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 292.0 204.123752495 143% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.47947454844 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 1062.9 705.55239521 151% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 2.70958083832 332% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 19.7664670659 152% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 92.1918832291 57.8364921388 159% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.066666667 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.46666666667 5.70786347227 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 13.0 4.67664670659 278% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.277086131783 0.218282227539 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0639514959873 0.0743258471296 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0674905715138 0.0701772020484 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.160666028404 0.128457276422 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0769415206139 0.0628817314937 122% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.87 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.75 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 159.0 98.500998004 161% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.