The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.
"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades, food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia indicates that there will be continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizens of Mentia. To buttress the argument, the author cites the following evidence: first, salicylates are members of same chemical family as aspirin, which can be used for treating headaches; second, the twenty-year study indicates that due to addition of salicylates into the commercial use, headaches reported has be decreased; finally, salicylates would be utilized as flavor additives for foods. Tough the issue has its merit, because of lack of convincing evidences and incomplete information, the conclusion is unsubstantiated.
To begin with, the author assumes that members from same chemical family have same treatment that can be used as medicine. However, the mere fact that both chemicals belong to the same family does not necessarily mean that they would have the same therapeutic effects for headache. We need more detailed information including compositions, elements and chemical properties to fully evaluate the argument. If aspirin can trigger certain chemical reactions and engender new composition which is useful for headache treatment, while salicylates cannot, then there is no guarantee that salicylates would serve for any medical purposes.
Furthermore, the author concludes the usefulness of salicylates by showing the study on relationship between commercial use of salicylates and number of headaches. We are not informed the credibility of the study. Who were the participates involved in the study? Did they use salicylates in their daily life? What were the effects of their headache? If the self-report method reliable? Without providing evidences regarding with these questions, the study is not persuasive. In addition, many other potential factors remain unexamined. For example, people today might pay more attention to health problems and are prone to physical exercise than those in the past. In this case, the amount of headaches can be declined significantly primarily because of healthy lifestyles. When commercial use of salicylates is not the crucial reason behind such trend, the effectiveness is problematic.
Last but not least, the new use does not necessarily decline the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia. If the percentage of salicylates used as flavor additive is meager, then they could be ineffective if they are helpful for relatively large douse. Do people like thee flavor additives? If not, then the usage of salicylates perhaps is not increasing. We also need to be cautious about the side-effects brought by salicylates. Additionally, alleviating headache is not the same as preventing headache. Granted that salicylates are efficient in treating headaches, we cannot hastily infer that they assist in deter headache from happening. What're worse, it gives people illusion that they are not likely to be suffered from headache after using salicylates and thus stay up late and drink aggressively. Owing to alteration of their living habits and performing with unhealthy actions, people could readily catch headache.
In conclusion, as it stands, the conclusion is relied on incomplete and certain problematic evidences that curtail its credibility. To further strengthen the validity of argument, the author is recommended to add the evidences as follows: first, whether salicylates have the same medical property as aspirin; second, whether the study is valid and whether commercial usage of salicylates is cardinal in reducing headache; third, whether foods with new flavor additives will be purchased and eaten by most individuals and whether people will keep their normal livings.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 576 350
No. of Characters: 3109 1500
No. of Different Words: 268 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.899 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.398 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.898 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 240 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 197 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 151 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 102 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.862 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.838 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.552 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.255 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.427 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 498, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'been'.
Suggestion: been
... commercial use, headaches reported has be decreased; finally, salicylates would b...
^^
Line 1, column 715, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tion, the conclusion is unsubstantiated. To begin with, the author assumes that m...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 632, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...es would serve for any medical purposes. Furthermore, the author concludes the ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 891, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rend, the effectiveness is problematic. Last but not least, the new use does no...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 667, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What're
...ssist in deter headache from happening. Whatre worse, it gives people illusion that th...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 948, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ns, people could readily catch headache. In conclusion, as it stands, the concl...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 570, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r people will keep their normal livings.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, furthermore, however, if, regarding, second, so, then, third, thus, while, for example, in addition, in conclusion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 55.5748502994 128% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3226.0 2260.96107784 143% => OK
No of words: 575.0 441.139720559 130% => OK
Chars per words: 5.61043478261 5.12650576532 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.89685180668 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.12525465125 2.78398813304 112% => OK
Unique words: 290.0 204.123752495 142% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.504347826087 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 1033.2 705.55239521 146% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 113.406583823 57.8364921388 196% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.076923077 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1153846154 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.70786347227 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.301453671741 0.218282227539 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0724392844903 0.0743258471296 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0683390402411 0.0701772020484 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.175109485734 0.128457276422 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0778693118071 0.0628817314937 124% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 14.3799401198 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 32.22 48.3550499002 67% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.26 12.5979740519 121% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.01 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 156.0 98.500998004 158% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.5 12.3882235529 157% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.