86. The following appeared in a memo at XYZ company.
"When XYZ lays off employees, it pays Delany Personnel Firm to offer those employees assistance in creating résumés and developing interviewing skills, if they so desire. Laid-off employees have benefited greatly from Delany's services: last year those who used Delany found jobs much more quickly than did those who did not. Recently, it has been proposed that we use the less expensive Walsh Personnel Firm in place of Delany. This would be a mistake because eight years ago, when XYZ was using Walsh, only half of the workers we laid off at that time found jobs within a year. Moreover, Delany is clearly superior, as evidenced by its bigger staff and larger number of branch offices. After all, last year Delany's clients took an average of six months to find jobs, whereas Walsh's clients took nine."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The memo at xyz company suggests that it would be a mistake to replace delany by walsh Personnel Firm in assisting in lay-off employees finding new job. To buttress the argument, the author cites the following evidences: first, last year, those who used delany found jobs much more quickly than did those who did not; second, eight years ago, only self of workers found jobs within a year using walsh; third, delany has bigger staff and larger number of branch offices; finally, last year the duration of finding a job is shorter in delany than in walsh. Tough the issue has merit, due to incomplete evidences, the conclusion is unsubstantiated.
To begin with, the author unfairly uses the examples from eight years ago to make comparison today. over the eight years, the condition in both walsh and delany changed a lot. what if walsh improved their servies, employee qualities and technical skills while delany remained unchanged? what if walsh fired more sophisticated experts in revising resumes and developing interviewing skills? what if walsh gained coraperation with certain companies? Without informing about the two changes of those two companies over the eight years, we are unable to make any comparsion. In addition, the author fails to offer the percentage of workers found jobs in Delnay eight years ago. what if the reemployment rate is even lower than walsh? we also demand the economic condition eight years ago. if there occurred serious recession in the whole countries, then finding a decent job might be much higher today and so took much longer time.
Furthermore, the memo assumes that bigger staff and larger number of branch offices are beneficial to finding jobs. Though the assumption seems valid at first glance, we need more evidences to supprot such argument. Otherwise, the conclusion in the memo is ungrounded. we should be informed about education level, abilities and personal qualities about those employees. For example, if delany's employees have less sophisticated vocational skills and less patient than those in walsh in general, then the bigger staff might have contribute positively to rehiring processes. Similarly, number of branch offices cannot tell the whole story about the overall success of two campanies. To further investigate this suggestion, we need more information such as location of thoses branch offices. if all branch offices are very far away from xyz, or even in another cities, it might not be the best choice for xyz due to inconvenience.
last but not least, duration comparision from last year of two companies is not convincing. there are many other factors remained unexamined. To illustrate, it is plausible that overall quality and background of employees in delany is much stonger than those in walsh, it the shorten average time of finding new job falls perhaps not on services provided by the companies, but by the qualification of employees themselves. To fully evaluate the argument, the author should provide detailed information about all lay-out workers, including age, previous position, wage, experience and so on. Additionally, last year performance cannot well predict this year, since many things can change in one year.
To sum up, the argument is based on incomplete evidences what weaken the credibility of the memo. To further strengthen the argument, the author is advised to include the evidences as follows: first, whether there are dramatic changes over the past eight years in both companies; second, whether bigger staff and larger number of branch offices play crucial role in enhancing the employment likelihood; finally, whether the last year's performances in two companies are comparable.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 591 350
No. of Characters: 3018 1500
No. of Different Words: 272 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.931 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.107 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.617 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 223 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 168 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 110 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 79 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 19.036 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.323 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.548 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 101, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Over
...ght years ago to make comparison today. over the eight years, the condition in both ...
^^^^
Line 4, column 177, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
...in both walsh and delany changed a lot. what if walsh improved their servies, employ...
^^^^
Line 4, column 288, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
...skills while delany remained unchanged? what if walsh fired more sophisticated exper...
^^^^
Line 4, column 391, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
...mes and developing interviewing skills? what if walsh gained coraperation with certa...
^^^^
Line 4, column 391, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...mes and developing interviewing skills? what if walsh gained coraperation with certa...
^^^^
Line 4, column 675, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
...s found jobs in Delnay eight years ago. what if the reemployment rate is even lower ...
^^^^
Line 4, column 731, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
...ployment rate is even lower than walsh? we also demand the economic condition eigh...
^^
Line 4, column 786, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...the economic condition eight years ago. if there occurred serious recession in the...
^^
Line 7, column 270, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
...e conclusion in the memo is ungrounded. we should be informed about education leve...
^^
Line 7, column 529, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'contributed'.
Suggestion: contributed
...neral, then the bigger staff might have contribute positively to rehiring processes. Simil...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 790, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...h as location of thoses branch offices. if all branch offices are very far away fr...
^^
Line 10, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Last
...oice for xyz due to inconvenience. last but not least, duration comparision fro...
^^^^
Line 10, column 93, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
...ear of two companies is not convincing. there are many other factors remained unexami...
^^^^^
Line 10, column 273, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...is much stonger than those in walsh, it the shorten average time of finding new job falls p...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, furthermore, if, second, similarly, so, then, third, well, while, for example, in addition, in general, such as, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 79.0 55.5748502994 142% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3120.0 2260.96107784 138% => OK
No of words: 591.0 441.139720559 134% => OK
Chars per words: 5.27918781726 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.93056706295 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71713306994 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 298.0 204.123752495 146% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.504230118443 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 951.3 705.55239521 135% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.22255489022 261% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 86.5845920567 57.8364921388 150% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.428571429 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.1071428571 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.85714285714 5.70786347227 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.25449101796 266% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.149810732802 0.218282227539 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0395278230533 0.0743258471296 53% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0605128783064 0.0701772020484 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.083060924373 0.128457276422 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0477654731877 0.0628817314937 76% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.34 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.77 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 153.0 98.500998004 155% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 17.0 12.3882235529 137% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.