The following appeared in a memo at XYZ company. "When XYZ lays off employees, it pays Delany Personnel Firm to offer those employees assistance in creating résumés and developing interviewing skills, if they so desire. Laid-off employees have bene

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a memo at XYZ company. "When XYZ lays off employees, it pays Delany Personnel Firm to offer those employees assistance in creating résumés and developing interviewing skills, if they so desire. Laid-off employees have benefited greatly from Delany's services: last year those who used Delany found jobs much more quickly than did those who did not. Recently, it has been proposed that we use the less expensive Walsh Personnel Firm in place of Delany. This would be a mistake because eight years ago, when XYZ was using Walsh, only half of the workers we laid off at that time found jobs within a year. Moreover, Delany is clearly superior, as evidenced by its bigger staff and larger number of branch offices. After all, last year Delany's clients took an average of six months to find jobs, whereas Walsh's clients took nine."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

In the memo, the author asserts that XYZ company should not contract with the Walsh company instead of Delany Personnel Firm in many respects. Although this argument may seem convincing at first, the lack of the evidence regarding the effectiveness of both personnel companies leads me to doubt the credibility of the arguement.

To begin with, the author need to provide solid evidence on the capability of the Delany Personnel Firm. He states that the last year’s result to support his assertion. However, it is entirely possible that the laid-off employees who were assisted by Delany got a job relatively quickly due to their willingness to get a job hastily. In other words, those who wanted to get a job used the Delany’s program, while others just wanted a break time in their life for one year, so they did not seek the job. Also, the bigger size of Delany cannot be equivalent to the higher ability. Even though the Walsh might have a small number of staffs, the staffs are top-notch consultants that could help laid-off employees significantly.

Second, the author must supplement the argument with the concrete evidence on the Walsh Personnel Frim. He mentions the bad results that occured in eight years ago. Rather, he needs to consider the inherent conditions of that year because at that time the country had a severe economic crisis. In this case, the Walsh’s result eight years ago prove to be incredible considering the adverse situation at that time. Furthermore, there is a high chance that Walsh made it possible for laid-off employees to get a sought-after job while Delany focused on a plain job for laid-off employees. If this is the case, the three months is negligible.

Lastly, the author should provide the specific evidence on the soundness of the conclusion that the company use Delany. As mentioned in the memo, the cost of the Delany is high relative to the Walsh. Even if the Delany’s service is better than Walsh, if the cost difference is huge enough to override the quality of service, the author’s conclusion is not sound.

To put it brifely, the author’s arguement is invalid in many ways. To bolster the argument, he should thoroughly scrutinize the effectiveness and cost of both Delany and Walsh.

Votes
Average: 8.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 624, Rule ID: SMALL_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, use 'a few', or use 'some'
Suggestion: a few; some
...ility. Even though the Walsh might have a small number of staffs, the staffs are top-notch consul...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 184, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ness and cost of both Delany and Walsh.
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, however, if, lastly, may, regarding, second, so, while, in other words, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 11.1786427146 18% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1903.0 2260.96107784 84% => OK
No of words: 379.0 441.139720559 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.02110817942 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41224685777 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79923479355 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.525065963061 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 586.8 705.55239521 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.804385514 57.8364921388 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.157894737 119.503703932 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9473684211 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.84210526316 5.70786347227 102% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.180804499922 0.218282227539 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0502661885977 0.0743258471296 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0533446085231 0.0701772020484 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0900057172698 0.128457276422 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0565997515216 0.0628817314937 90% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.3799401198 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.16 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 98.500998004 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.