When XYZ lays off employees, it pays Delany Personnel Firm to offer those employees assistance in creating resumés and developing interviewing skills, if they so desire. Laid-off employees have benefited greatly from Delany's services: last year those who used Delany found jobs much more quickly than did those who did not. Recently, it has been proposed that we use the less-expensive Walsh Personnel Firm in place of Delany. This would be a mistake because eight years ago, when XYZ was using Walsh, only half of the workers we laid off at that time found jobs within a year. Moreover, Delany is clearly superior, as evidenced by its bigger staff and larger number of branch offices. After all, last year Delany's clients took an average of six months to find jobs, whereas Walsh's clients took nine.
Recently, the XYZ comany has proposed to shift from Delany Personnel Firm to Walsh Personnel Firm. The reasoning for this decision being the less expenditure involved with the later. However, the author states that this proposal could be a mistake considering the previous throughput of Walsh Personnel Firm as well as the superiority of Delany over Walsh. However, these conclusions made by the author seem flawed due to the insubstantiated claims and vaguely analysed statistics.
The arguement of the author regarding the experiences with Walsh eight years ago, fails to be a compelling reason in the present case. Firstly, the data stating that only half number of employees found job within a year does not allow for an absolute comparison between the two cases. In order to have a fair comparison, the actual numbers of employees laid off and those who found jobs need to be looked into. Even then, one cannot neglect the effect of other external factors such as financial market, sector demands and economy of the nation on the job opportunities. Such factors vary substantialy with time and hence they could be one of the resons leading to possibly lesser job opportunities eight years ago.
Another argument of the author stating Delany to be a superior company based on a greater workforce and numerous branches is quite vague. The superiority or excellency of a company is determined by many factors including its profits, staff satisfaction, stock prices and many others. By avioiding these relevant factors in determining the status of Dlany Firm, the author has failed to make a clear judgement.
In order to make these conclusions more accurate, the author needs to back up the observations with significant data. The calculation of average number of months taken by a Delany client should be based on a large set of data.
In conclusion, the analysis made by the author is currently based on skewed factors and for a proper judgement one needs to bring in the effect of many other factors.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 334 350
No. of Characters: 1640 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.275 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.91 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.7 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 120 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.267 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.358 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.467 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.587 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.059 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 367, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...actual numbers of employees laid off and those who found jobs need to be looked i...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...er job opportunities eight years ago. Another argument of the author stating D...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...as failed to make a clear judgement. In order to make these conclusions more ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ould be based on a large set of data. In conclusion, the analysis made by the ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, hence, however, if, look, regarding, so, then, well, in conclusion, such as, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.6327345309 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 13.6137724551 22% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 10.0 28.8173652695 35% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1681.0 2260.96107784 74% => OK
No of words: 334.0 441.139720559 76% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.03293413174 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.27500489853 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76201134294 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.562874251497 0.468620217663 120% => OK
syllable_count: 530.1 705.55239521 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 24.0828200637 57.8364921388 42% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 112.066666667 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.2666666667 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.86666666667 5.70786347227 120% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.127362136401 0.218282227539 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0445602422421 0.0743258471296 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0597394754038 0.0701772020484 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0570266553287 0.128457276422 44% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0454332452106 0.0628817314937 72% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.3799401198 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.19 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.22 8.32208582834 111% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 98.500998004 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.