The following appeared in a memo at XYZ company.
"When XYZ lays off employees, it pays Delany Personnel Firm to offer those employees assistance in creating résumés and developing interviewing skills, if they so desire. Laid-off employees have benefited greatly from Delany's services: last year those who used Delany found jobs much more quickly than did those who did not. Recently, it has been proposed that we use the less expensive Walsh Personnel Firm in place of Delany. This would be a mistake because eight years ago, when XYZ was using Walsh, only half of the workers we laid off at that time found jobs within a year. Moreover, Delany is clearly superior, as evidenced by its bigger staff and larger number of branch offices. After all, last year Delany's clients took an average of six months to find jobs, whereas Walsh's clients took nine."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The memo claims that Delany is superior to Walsh because 8 years ago while using Walsh, the fired worker had difficulty finding new jobs, Delany is a bigger company comprised of more staffs and offices, and finally that the average time to find new jobs are shorter for clients of the Delany compared to the clients of Walsh. However, these assertions lack evidence and to further support these, there should be additional evidence. There should be supporting details that the economic situation and the company situation of Walsh is similar to 8 years ago, and that the larger number of staffs are all proficient in their jobs and finally, that the time to find a new job certainly portrays the superiority of Delany over Walsh.
First of all, the author's argument that because Walsh's performance 8 years was poor it will be also poor today does not seem sound. 8 years ago, there is the possibility that the economy as a whole was in a time of depression and thus it was close to impossible to find new jobs. If could be thought that even with this kind of economic difficulty, the Walsh has succeeded in finding new jobs for half of their clients. Also, there might also be the possibility that even though Walsh wasn't a successful enterprise in the past, it might have adapted new corporate policy and changed the strategies that they use for their customer's employment. Therefore, it would be rash to conclude that Walsh today is the same kind of corporation that it was 8 years ago.
Next, the memo assumes that since Delany is a bigger corporation, it will provide better services. On the other hand, this presumption may not be sound because there is also the possibility that Walsh provides concentrated and personalized care to their few customers while Delany being a big company, just uses a unified strategy for all their customers. Since the people utilizing Walsh receive special care, they may be more successful in finding new opportunities that are more suitable to their personalities. Therefore, not only Walsh may be competent at searching new job opportunities, the satisfaction after finding the jobs may be higher too. Hence, the memo requires additional information about Delany's staff and offices and how they work to provide better services compared to Walsh.
Last but not least, the time required to find new vocations are not the only measure to be considered as the company's abilities. For example, even though Walsh takes an average of 9 months for their clients to find new jobs, it may take longer because they need extra time to find better vocations more suitable for the client. In contrast, Delany may only concentrate on the speed of employment and works hastily without considering the needs of the customer.
In conclusion, the author needs to provided supplementary evidence that the situation from 8 years ago are similar with the contemporary situation, that the large number of staffs are indeed doing their jobs in a specialized manner, and finally that Delany finds high quality occupations in shorter time than the Walsh institution.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 20, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...Delany over Walsh. First of all, the authors argument that because Walshs performanc...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 487, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
... the possibility that even though Walsh wasnt a successful enterprise in the past, it...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 210, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a specialized manner" with adverb for "specialized"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...r of staffs are indeed doing their jobs in a specialized manner, and finally that Delany finds high qua...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, hence, however, if, may, so, therefore, thus, while, for example, in conclusion, in contrast, in short, kind of, first of all, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 28.8173652695 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2577.0 2260.96107784 114% => OK
No of words: 520.0 441.139720559 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.95576923077 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77530192783 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68063127335 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 204.123752495 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.451923076923 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 803.7 705.55239521 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 30.0 22.8473053892 131% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 75.0689648321 57.8364921388 130% => OK
Chars per sentence: 151.588235294 119.503703932 127% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.5882352941 23.324526521 131% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.0588235294 5.70786347227 176% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0426828124198 0.218282227539 20% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0186741952889 0.0743258471296 25% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0191532527149 0.0701772020484 27% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0273874233321 0.128457276422 21% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0171853127229 0.0628817314937 27% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.2 14.3799401198 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.49 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.08 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.25 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.1389221557 126% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.