The following appeared in a memo at XYZ company.
"When XYZ lays off employees, it pays Delany Personnel Firm to offer those employees assistance in creating résumés and developing interviewing skills, if they so desire. Laid-off employees have benefited greatly from Delany's services: last year those who used Delany found jobs much more quickly than did those who did not. Recently, it has been proposed that we use the less expensive Walsh Personnel Firm in place of Delany. This would be a mistake because eight years ago, when XYZ was using Walsh, only half of the workers we laid off at that time found jobs within a year. Moreover, Delany is clearly superior, as evidenced by its bigger staff and larger number of branch offices. After all, last year Delany's clients took an average of six months to find jobs, whereas Walsh's clients took nine."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In XYZ company when employee laid off, they prefer to contact Delany personal firm to offer those employees help in drafting resumes and developing intra-communication skills. Also, laid off employees obvious benefited to the Delany firm. Also, argument represent last year scenario where employees get quickly job as compare to who did not use same consultancy service. In XYZ company, higher authorities proposed that this time they will use other supports called Walsh company. However, most people consider it is big mistake because according to other organization Walsh's client service not good. Apart from that, Delany have a greater staff and branch. Hence it would be benefited. Stated in this way argument fails to mention several points based on that it could be evaluated. Hence, the conclusion relies on assumption that have no strong evidence. As a result conclusion is unsubstantiated and unsupported.
Firstly, the argument readily assumes that, last year who use Delany services get a job easily as compare to other who not apply for Delany. It is merely an argument without solid background. It might be possible last year employees are more talented; so, they got a job easily. Also, argument readily assume the market situation. It may be possible last year market was good. That's why more people able to found the jobs; but, it would not be case same in this year as well. Also, argument does not mention statistical evidence how much employees get a job. Hence, author arguments has a no clear proof.
Secondly, the argument claims that, last year other company had a bad experience regarding Walsh's services. Because, employees took 9 months to find a job as compare to 6 months in Delany company. This again weak and unsupported claim. View of only one company not able to question the efficiency of the Walsh's services. It might be possible in other firms, Walsh's company provided good jobs. Also, getting job is depend on the individual caliber rather than services of the different firms.
Thirdly, argument compare the staff and branch of the both companies and give the preference to the Delany over Walsh because of great staff and branch. However, there is no clear correlation between staff and providing jobs to the individual. Therefore, we cannot say that Delany is superior. Also, argument give more emphasize on quantity rather than quality. It might be possible Delany has a more clients that's why they have a more branch. But, Walsh provide the service in only one city.
To conclude, the author's conclusion is unpersuasive it stands. To bolster it, author must provide more concrete evidences and relevant facts. It could be considerably strengthened if author mention all relevant facts. As a result the author's conclusion has a no legs to stand.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 34 15
No. of Words: 459 350
No. of Characters: 2270 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.629 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.946 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.627 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 174 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.559 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.706 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.252 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.424 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.06 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 659, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...Delany have a greater staff and branch. Hence it would be benefited. Stated in this w...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 378, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: That's
... be possible last year market was good. Thats why more people able to found the jobs;...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 534, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...es not mention statistical evidence how much employees get a job. Hence, author argu...
^^^^
Line 15, column 410, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
...t be possible Delany has a more clients thats why they have a more branch. But, Walsh...
^^^^^
Line 15, column 456, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (Walsh) must be used with a third-person verb: 'provides'.
Suggestion: provides
...why they have a more branch. But, Walsh provide the service in only one city. To c...
^^^^^^^
Line 19, column 18, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...in only one city. To conclude, the authors conclusion is unpersuasive it stands. T...
^^^^^^^
Line 19, column 219, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...d if author mention all relevant facts. As a result the authors conclusion has a n...
^^
Line 19, column 235, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ion all relevant facts. As a result the authors conclusion has a no legs to stand.
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, third, thirdly, well, apart from, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 55.5748502994 72% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2351.0 2260.96107784 104% => OK
No of words: 459.0 441.139720559 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.1220043573 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62863751936 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68343086576 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 204.123752495 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.501089324619 0.468620217663 107% => OK
syllable_count: 724.5 705.55239521 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 34.0 19.7664670659 172% => OK
Sentence length: 13.0 22.8473053892 57% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.3344304894 57.8364921388 58% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 69.1470588235 119.503703932 58% => More chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 13.5 23.324526521 58% => More words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 4.32352941176 5.70786347227 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.151178301804 0.218282227539 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0380777028612 0.0743258471296 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0810434928413 0.0701772020484 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0829738039699 0.128457276422 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.102243522136 0.0628817314937 163% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.4 14.3799401198 65% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.28 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 12.197005988 69% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.82 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.41 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.2 11.1389221557 65% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.