The following argument was made in a newspaper editorial:
“The autonomy of any country is based on the strength of its borders; if the number of illegal immigrants entering a country cannot be checked, both its economy and national identity are endangered.
Because illegal immigrants pose such threats, every effort must be made to return them to their country of origin.”
To begin with, the author's conclusion to make effort to return illegal immigrants to their country of origin omits pivotal considerations to substantiate argument. The evidence the argument presents concerning autonomy of any country based on strength its borders is superficial and inconsistent. On continuation to support the evidence,
author asserts illegal immigrants entering country without necessary checks damage both economy and national identity seems inauthentic. Most conspicuously, the argument does not address auxiliary factors of economic growth and national identity, nor impact of such immigrants on economy and national identity.
Primarily, the argument assumes autonomy of country is solely dependent on its border. This alone does not strength autonomy of country, as on the one hand, autonomy should be seen as struggles of self-determination and self-governance, which is movement towards independence, and an answer to conflicts between minorities and ethnic groups in society. On the other hand, all the minorities in a country are not immigrants, but are people suffered from various differences from ethnic groups. So, this is an internal problem of country, which author fails to put-forth in support of claim. Clearly, borders are not the alone strengths for autonomy, but strategies for mutiny and diplomatic relations should be considered for autonomy of a country. For example, allowing more autonomy groups and institutions with capabilities into legislation could develop diplomatic relations with government.
Finally, the evidence never addresses authenticity on impact of illegal vs legal immigrants on economy and national identity, nor the kind of threat illegal immigrants pose. statistics on illegal immigrants, effect on country socioeconomic growth along with country relation will bring out actions to be taken. As such, it is clear from evidence argument that there are some illegal immigrants existing in country, so succinct data on threats and measures taken by country could have substantiated argument. But nevertheless, author claims to return illegal immigrants weakens, in contrast it puts-forth task which has its own obstacles including man power and money, to find illegal immigrants to send them to their origin, for a wrong reason.
To conclude, in contrast to authors cites drawn, country has to make intentional effort to understand obstacles involved to develop diplomatic relations with autonomy groups and institutions. As the presented argument leaves out aforementioned critical issues, it is neither sound nor persuasive. Ultimately, ff it had included the key items discussed above succinctly instead of solely choosing inconsistent reason for wrong cause, the argument would have been more thorough and convincing.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
1. the introduction and conclusion are too long.
2. minimum 3 arguments wanted. like this:
paragraph 1: introduction.
paragraph 2: argument 1.
paragraph 3: argument 2.
paragraph 4: argument 3.
paragraph 5: conclusion.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 412 350
No. of Characters: 2323 1500
No. of Different Words: 213 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.505 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.638 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.014 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 202 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 166 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 116 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.962 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.362 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.56 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.115 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 20, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
To begin with, the authors conclusion to make effort to return ill...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 338, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...On continuation to support the evidence, author asserts illegal immigrants enteri...
^^^
Line 6, column 175, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Statistics
...kind of threat illegal immigrants pose. statistics on illegal immigrants, effect on countr...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 509, Rule ID: BUT_NEVERTHELESS[1]
Message: Use simply 'But'.
Suggestion: But
...ntry could have substantiated argument. But nevertheless, author claims to return illegal immigr...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, if, nevertheless, so, then, as to, for example, in contrast, kind of, in contrast to, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 13.6137724551 29% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 28.8173652695 45% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2383.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 412.0 441.139720559 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.78398058252 5.12650576532 113% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50530610838 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.10466685985 2.78398813304 112% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.53640776699 0.468620217663 114% => OK
syllable_count: 741.6 705.55239521 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.7046331876 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 140.176470588 119.503703932 117% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.2352941176 23.324526521 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.76470588235 5.70786347227 136% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.302643231684 0.218282227539 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.102939376502 0.0743258471296 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0774648186555 0.0701772020484 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.180638970757 0.128457276422 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0738378383643 0.0628817314937 117% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.9 14.3799401198 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 30.2 48.3550499002 62% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.197005988 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 16.54 12.5979740519 131% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.35 8.32208582834 112% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 98.500998004 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.