The following letter is from a group of Linford College alumni to the chair of the art department at the college.
“In a recent survey of college graduates, 90 percent agreed that participating in an internship increase their chances of finding a job after graduation, but last year, only 40 percent of Linford’s graduating art students had completed an internship. Skyway Designs, located in nearby Linford City, is the perfect company for students to intern with for a number of reasons: They offer internships in all of their departments, so every student is sure to find work that they are interested in. Additionally, their internships offer flexible working hours. Finally, Skyway Designs is known for being one of the best in the design business, as over 80 percent of business in Linfor City have used the services of Skyway Designs for their design needs. Given the vital role that work experience plays in a student’s success after graduation, we recommend that our art department require all art student to complete an internship with Skyway Designs before graduation.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
Internship plays important role in finding a job after graduation from college, enabling students with a lot of experience which they can not learn from lectures and textbook. Therefor the alumni of Linford College recommend that every students in the art department should complete internship in Skyway Designs company before graduation. However, in my perspective, I think there are several questions need to be answered before apple this stradegy.
First of all, survey illustrated that 90 percent of students considear the internship as a significant part of finding a job in the future, while, however, only 40 percent of them find a internship before the graduation. That reminds us, since students rrelizea the necessary of internship, why there were only less than half student getting the internship, is the the competion of looking for an internship to hard or students have limited to find the job. Graduating students have to put a lot of effort in there graduation projects, and finding a internship will obviously put more pressure on their shoulders. If school force students to take an intern job in Skyway Designs, it may cause the back reward.
Moreover, when the internship become common and obliagtry, the priviellge of students who found internship on their own will define decrease. At that time, does the internship still need? The students who find the internship during the college, are those who have more effort and more clear plans about their future. If every students in the school take the same internship in the same company, then everyone is in the same start line, and the internship is not unique. The value of internship will become less essential, compared with the important position it took.
Last but nor least, does the internships in the Skyway Design are consord with the students’ major? Compared with the number of students in the art department, the jobs offers in the company is limited, which rose a problem that not every students can find a internship where they can put their knowledge into practice. For example, students may find a internship that just need to copy and sort some documents in the company, which has less contribution in finding a job in the future.
In conclude, before applying this recommendation in to practice, alumnis need take whether students have extra time and effort to take the intern, whether the internship still have advantage in the future jobs if every students get an intern, and if every students can find a suitable internship in the Skyway Designs.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 420 350
No. of Characters: 2070 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.527 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.929 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.615 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.796 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.412 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.412 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.148 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 186, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
..., however, only 40 percent of them find a internship before the graduation. That ...
^
Line 2, column 361, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...half student getting the internship, is the the competion of looking for an internship ...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 361, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...half student getting the internship, is the the competion of looking for an internship ...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 548, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... there graduation projects, and finding a internship will obviously put more pres...
^
Line 4, column 257, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...roblem that not every students can find a internship where they can put their kno...
^
Line 4, column 351, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ractice. For example, students may find a internship that just need to copy and s...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, look, may, moreover, so, still, then, while, for example, i think, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 19.6327345309 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2125.0 2260.96107784 94% => OK
No of words: 420.0 441.139720559 95% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05952380952 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52701905584 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72130566735 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.466666666667 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 648.9 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.5977638448 57.8364921388 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 132.8125 119.503703932 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.25 23.324526521 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.5 5.70786347227 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.208895560913 0.218282227539 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0810796364731 0.0743258471296 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0520682662125 0.0701772020484 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130735217256 0.128457276422 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0516595179602 0.0628817314937 82% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.5 14.3799401198 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 48.3550499002 111% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.27 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.