The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The given prediction is incomplete and leaves many questions unanswered. Further information is required in order to decide whether the prediction is reasonable or not.
Firstly, there is no mention of the number of lunch options available in the cafeteria of Kensington Academy. We do not know how many options were available earlier and how many options are being provided now by Swift Nutrition. Perhaps Swift Nutrition has a plethora of low-fat, low-calorie options which can compensate for the lack of unhealthy options being served earlier.
Secondly, the management of the cafeteria was changed keeping in mind the welfare of students. The school cannot rescind it's contract with a private vendor just because a few students do not find the meals enjoyable. If more than half of the number of students complain, then it can force the management to take certain steps. It is possible that a large section of the school is satisfied with the quality of meals being served by Swift Nutrition. More information is needed on the number of students attending Kensington Academy who eat at the cafeteria on a regular basis.
Thirdly, it is mentioned that if Swift Nutrition is not replaced with another vendor, then students will bring their own food which will be less healthy than cafeteria food. However, there is no mention about where the students will be getting food from. If the meals are brought from their own home, then chances are that because of safety and hygenic conditions, the food will be healthy too. No parent would want their child take unhealthy meals to school. If the food is brought from a nearby departmental stores or food vendors, then how will school children be able to keep purchasing their meals without financial support? Again, these questions need to be answered before any step is taken.
Lastly, the letter states that if Swift Nutrition is not replaced then there will be serious consequences for students of Kensington Academy. However, there may be an option to request Swift Nutrition to make changes to their menu so that children of Kensington Academy are able to enjoy all kinds of meals. Thus if Swift Nutrition agrees to the above solution, then there will be no need to find another vendor.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 375 350
No. of Characters: 1827 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.401 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.872 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.502 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.737 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.711 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.526 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.31 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.568 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 577, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...at at the cafeteria on a regular basis. Thirdly, it is mentioned that if Swift N...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 511, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'store'?
Suggestion: store
...d is brought from a nearby departmental stores or food vendors, then how will school c...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 309, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...y are able to enjoy all kinds of meals. Thus if Swift Nutrition agrees to the above ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, however, if, lastly, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1875.0 2260.96107784 83% => OK
No of words: 375.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.0 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40055868397 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57750128785 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.490666666667 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 563.4 705.55239521 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.5484509931 57.8364921388 56% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 98.6842105263 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.7368421053 23.324526521 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.73684210526 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.248049327571 0.218282227539 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0764260852528 0.0743258471296 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0561366331548 0.0701772020484 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.12297840531 0.128457276422 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0771330075926 0.0628817314937 123% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.72 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.86 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 98.500998004 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.