The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
Eating healthy food, has become a fad for this generation and rightfully so, because it keep the body and mind active and agile. The letter from the parent to the principal of the school predicts that the the new cafeteria food, on the premise of healthy food is giving low fat and low calorie based food which will lead to serious health degradation of children at that school. This prediction is based on unwarranted evidences and does not show the veracity of the whole case. I would like to ask some pointed questions which would help us get a better overview of the whole fiasco.
Firstly, what kind of food is Swift Nutrition providing to the students of Kensington? Do the food options provided have appropriate proportions of protein, carbohydrate and fats? This would help us understand the food available at the cafeteria. There could be possibility that the food may not be enjoyable or tasty enough but be sufficiently packed with enough nutrients that may prove beneficial to a lot of different students and help them become salubrious. We surely, cannot be reliant on the data provided by the parent's child and his friends. For example, there could be a thousand children in the school and only thirty to forty students are not enjoying the food. In that case, it would be prudent to see what exactly is the issue of those students. Therefore the prediction and the assumption does not hold water.
Secondly, the parent says that students are going to bring their own lunches which would be more healthier than the cafeteria. I would like to ask on what assumption has the parent concluded that the lunch which these kids will bring from home, will be more healthier than the one's received from the cafeteria? There could be a possibility that the students get tasty food from home which might be enjoyable but at the same time not be healthy enough and devoid of nutritients. Consuming this type of food may lead to severe health issues which could lead to illnesses like diarrhea and dysentery. Therefore, we cannot conclude that by bringing their own lunch boxes, the students will remain healthy.Thus the argument of the parent has a folly in it.
Thirdly, there is no validity of the point that by changing the vendor, issue will be resolved. There may be a slim chance that the new food vendor has exacerbated the previous food quality and which could actually serious health complications and pose danger to the whole school. For example, the present scenario is only affecting a certain contingent of students, by changing the vendor, things could become more aggravated and affect a major chunk of the school population. Thus the whole premise of the parent is full of loop holes.
Therefore, there should be a systematic research study conducted about the Swift Vendor, from all the students and then based on that authentic information carry out all the needed precautions to maintain the health standards of all the students.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 505 350
No. of Characters: 2404 1500
No. of Different Words: 225 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.74 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.76 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.494 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 159 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 114 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.955 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.527 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.308 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.504 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.114 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 89, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'keeps'?
Suggestion: keeps
...eneration and rightfully so, because it keep the body and mind active and agile. The...
^^^^
Line 2, column 202, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...e principal of the school predicts that the the new cafeteria food, on the premise of h...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 202, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...e principal of the school predicts that the the new cafeteria food, on the premise of h...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tter overview of the whole fiasco. Firstly, what kind of food is Swift Nutr...
^^^
Line 5, column 455, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... different students and help them become salubrious. We surely, cannot be reliant...
^^
Line 5, column 526, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'parents'' or 'parent's'?
Suggestion: parents'; parent's
... be reliant on the data provided by the parents child and his friends. For example, the...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 766, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...exactly is the issue of those students. Therefore the prediction and the assumption does ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e assumption does not hold water. Secondly, the parent says that students ...
^^^^^
Line 8, column 98, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'healthier' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: healthier
... bring their own lunches which would be more healthier than the cafeteria. I would like to ask...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 259, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'healthier' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: healthier
...hese kids will bring from home, will be more healthier than the ones received from the cafeter...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 707, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Thus
...boxes, the students will remain healthy.Thus the argument of the parent has a folly ...
^^^^
Line 8, column 707, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...boxes, the students will remain healthy.Thus the argument of the parent has a folly ...
^^^^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t of the parent has a folly in it. Thirdly, there is no validity of the poi...
^^^^^
Line 11, column 484, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...a major chunk of the school population. Thus the whole premise of the parent is full...
^^^^
Line 14, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the parent is full of loop holes. Therefore, there should be a systematic ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, third, thirdly, thus, for example, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 25.0 12.9520958084 193% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2472.0 2260.96107784 109% => OK
No of words: 504.0 441.139720559 114% => OK
Chars per words: 4.90476190476 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.73813722054 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58680246427 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 231.0 204.123752495 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.458333333333 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 730.8 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.6692776096 57.8364921388 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.363636364 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.9090909091 23.324526521 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.5 5.70786347227 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 15.0 5.25449101796 285% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.164100739123 0.218282227539 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.050617770156 0.0743258471296 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0531177734152 0.0701772020484 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0967083680602 0.128457276422 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0370370728474 0.0628817314937 59% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 66.07 48.3550499002 137% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.44 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.