The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The prediction here is that if Kensington Academy does not replace Swift Nutrition with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students. This prediction is derived from the argument that the company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable. There are several questions to be answered in order to decide whether this prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable.
Firstly, the parent says that his/her son and several friends have complained about the lunch options. Considering this we need to have a survey of all students of Kensington Academy regarding their views of the cafeteria. This will help us know whether the parent's concern is limited to a small set of children or highlights the view of majority of student body. If the Academy does not consider the opinion of the majority then any changes made with respect to the cafeteria might not be synchronized with the beliefs of most people involved.
Moving on we can see that the intent of hiring Swift Nutrition as assumed by the parent may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods. Hence, here we need to answer the question of why Swift Nutrition manages the cafeteria, i.e., what is the real reason behind this decision of employing them as the vendor. This will answer the fundamental question of the origin of nutritious food in the cafeteria and the thought behind this decision when it was made a year ago.
Furthermore, the parent says that the plan is going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. Here we need answer for the question that states how many students are availing cafeteria facilities currently. We also need to see if there is a percent growth in the number of such students or has it remained somewhat stable or has it diminished. We also need to know the causes behind any of the changes in the trends. This will give us an overview of the cafeteria's popularity and how have the tastes of students changed.
In addition, we need to see why the private vendor serves only low-fat, low-calorie meals. Is it a requirement imposed by Kensington Academy or is it a policy of the vendor itself. We also need to have a dietitian on board to suggest the nutritional and taste value of the foods provided in the cafeteria. This will give us a third-party view which is completely unbiased and help develop an understanding of the situation from outside the box.
With respect to the prediction, it seems an extreme indication which is by no means justified or plausible. However, if we can check the types of lunches students bring on their own and study them for any serious health consequences then we can empirically answer the prediction. This will also indicate what is favored by the students and acceptable for the parents at the same time. This study can then be incorporated while deciding for Swift Nutrition.
Therefore, to decide whether the prediction and the argument are reasonable we need to have answers for the questions listed below:
1. What is the general view of students about the food provided at the cafeteria?
2. Why was Swift Nutrition hired last year?
3. What were the reasons behind hiring Swift Nutrition?
4. How many students are availing the cafeteria facilities currently? Is there a growth, drop or no effect on the number of students with respect to previous years? What are the reasons behind these changes?
5. Why does Swift Nutrition serve only low-calorie, low-fat meals?
6. What are the views of a third-person like a dietitian who is beyond the bounds of the Academy on the food being provided at the cafeteria?
7. What are the types of lunches students bring on their own?
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 39 15
No. of Words: 642 350
No. of Characters: 3034 1500
No. of Different Words: 258 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.034 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.726 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.613 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 214 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 168 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 112 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 70 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.462 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.234 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.436 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.244 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.432 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.114 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 365, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...s the view of majority of student body. If the Academy does not consider the opini...
^^
Line 7, column 505, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'cafeterias'' or 'cafeteria's'?
Suggestion: cafeterias'; cafeteria's
...s. This will give us an overview of the cafeterias popularity and how have the tastes of s...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 572, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ow have the tastes of students changed. In addition, we need to see why the priv...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, regarding, so, then, therefore, third, while, in addition, with respect to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.6327345309 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 28.8173652695 170% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 87.0 55.5748502994 157% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3128.0 2260.96107784 138% => OK
No of words: 640.0 441.139720559 145% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.8875 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.02973371873 4.56307096286 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6666615804 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 266.0 204.123752495 130% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.415625 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 953.1 705.55239521 135% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 33.0 19.7664670659 167% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.233659955 57.8364921388 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.7878787879 119.503703932 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.3939393939 23.324526521 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.06060606061 5.70786347227 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 14.0 5.15768463074 271% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 8.20758483034 219% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.261240930434 0.218282227539 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0738724164622 0.0743258471296 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0731380340018 0.0701772020484 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102971372385 0.128457276422 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0741487165013 0.0628817314937 118% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.61 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 123.0 98.500998004 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.