Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.
Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim AND the reason on which that claim is based.
Since, many people's dreams are inherently selfish, the claim suggests that even though young people are advised to "follow their dreams", greater emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals. I completely agree with the claim since it's not just dreaming that counts. Dreams and goals should be of a salubrious, and worthy nature so that it does not stymie someone else's progress, nor does it turn out to be something that can be categorized as selfish.
Dreams are not just arbitrary figments of our imagination. They are a realization of our wishes, hopes and expectations. When, young people are advised to "follow their dreams", they are asked to work towards making their dream a reality and cherishing success. Nowhere are they encouraged to behave selfishly and leave their munificent outlook. Since, young people are naive, and inexperienced or jejune; any advises given to them should have a positive impact on them as well as the society in general. They should be motivated to follow an honest and altruistic path in achieving their goals so that they do not grow up to be self-centered egoistic humans.
Worthy goals can often mean a goal that benefits an individual, society or brings about a positive change somehow without having a negative impact on anything else. It is also a goal that we are capable of achieving in the long run. Young people have a length of life ahead of them where they will encounter several obstacles and hurdles which will impede or attenuate their swift progress and prove to be trying times. In such testing situations and circumstances, if they are not selfish and rather completely honest in the process of achieving their goal then in the denouement; they'll seem as resplendent as diamonds that are the result of an excruciating process that commences from a lump of dark, Stygian carbon.
Though I completely agree with the claim, I have my doubts when it comes to the reason for the same. Since, some dreams are selfish is not a reason enough to emphasize on picking worthy goals. Undoubtedly, dreams may not be relevant or pertinent for collectively many people but if they are apposite for just one person, they cannot be deemed as selfish and excoriated totally. And the advice of picking worthy goals is an adage. It is independent of any reason and should be imposed as a whole in entirety. Young people should not be taught beneficial things with reasons that are completely random. Rather such apothegms and advice, should be expounded with the possible results of their actions if they take the quixotic path in following their dreams and picking worthy goals. This is because dreams can be centered around oneself and this is no reason to call it inherently selfish.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 330, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hey will encounter several obstacles and hurdles which will impede or attenuate t...
^^
Line 5, column 584, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: they'll
...ving their goal then in the denouement; theyll seem as resplendent as diamonds that ar...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 722, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...es from a lump of dark, Stygian carbon. Though I completely agree with the claim...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 102, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Since” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...en it comes to the reason for the same. Since, some dreams are selfish is not a reaso...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 602, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Rather,
...ith reasons that are completely random. Rather such apothegms and advice, should be ex...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, look, may, so, then, well, in general, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 19.5258426966 169% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.4196629213 113% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 14.8657303371 155% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.3162921348 115% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 33.0505617978 148% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 58.6224719101 80% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 12.9106741573 23% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2298.0 2235.4752809 103% => OK
No of words: 462.0 442.535393258 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.97402597403 5.05705443957 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63618218583 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69701486277 2.79657885939 96% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 215.323595506 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.482683982684 0.4932671777 98% => OK
syllable_count: 705.6 704.065955056 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.77640449438 225% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.3329149828 60.3974514979 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.428571429 118.986275619 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0 23.4991977007 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.04761904762 5.21951772744 58% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 10.2758426966 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.350901659852 0.243740707755 144% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.106653601812 0.0831039109588 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.118451297709 0.0758088955206 156% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.231485303525 0.150359130593 154% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.126186164237 0.0667264976115 189% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 14.1392134831 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.8420337079 118% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.55 12.1639044944 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.18 8.38706741573 98% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 100.480337079 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 11.8971910112 71% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.