The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
A parent sent a letter to the principal of Kensington Academy concerning the adoption of Swift Nutrition. Secifically, that the food is not enjoyable to students based off of the complaints of her son and his friends. Also, she says that students will bring their own food and that will cause them to be unhealthy and the swictch to Swift would backfire in the goal to make students healthier. There are several questions that need to be answered in evaluating this response.
First, is the opinion of her son and his friends the same as all of the other students? Is the son friends with all the students in the school? It is possible that the son and friends make up a small minority of the school population who dislike the new food served. In this case, the parent has made a generalization error which would weaken her argument in that other students will bring their own lunches in place of the new school lunches. The opinion of a few out of thousands does not show the whole picture. This is the case in the US elections where you would find small rual towns in a state support a republican candidate, while big cities with the voting population in the millions end up electing a democrat becasue that is who they support. This means that voters in the countryside would be fallacious in their thinking that a republican would be elected just becasue they know several of their friends are republicans as well. Thus, the parent's generalization error about luch opinions from home and from the school.
In addition, the parent assumes that even if students do not enjoy the luch options offered at the school, they will bring unhealthy lunches from home. It is then important to ask if students have that tendancy. It is true that some students may bring unhealthy foods in place of the healthy foods. However, it is also possible that those parents would pack the studnets' luchboxes with healthy rye bread with water as a drink and a salubrious orange for dessert to overrule the students' idea of a pizza for lunch. The author of the letter also assumes that if something does not taste good, the children will not eat it. Also, it is important to ask the children's level of maturity and their ability to withhold hedonism and gratification of a cupcake for healthy fruits and vegetables. Though her son and company doesn't like the food, will they continue to not eat it? Is it really unbearable? The author is not clear in making this point. The same goes for other students who may not enjoy the lucnch, and thus the parent's point is further weaker since though the food is not liked, it can still be eaten.
Lastly, even if the school decided to switch vendors, it is important to ask if there are many other healthy options available. It is possible that the lucnches at other vendors are not as healthy and full of many different preservatives and prosessed foods. On the other hand, the private school may not be able to afford a rise in tuition or lunch fees just to get the similar healthy foods that only taste a bit better. There is a lot that goes into making school foods such as packaging and delivery and better taste just further complicates the process and cost to the consumers just skyrocket. If either is true, then the author may be incorrect in thinking students will be less healthy becasue the principal can just make studnets bring in healthy food rather than to just switch vendors.
In conclusion, there are many different factors that the parent did not account for which forces him or her to make assumptions that must be accounted for by answering several questions. After these questions are answered, only then can the action proposed have merit.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 652 350
No. of Characters: 2985 1500
No. of Different Words: 269 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.053 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.578 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.406 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 190 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 149 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.483 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.54 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.655 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.267 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.45 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.134 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 62, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
... of her son and his friends the same as all of the other students? Is the son friends with...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 953, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'parents'' or 'parent's'?
Suggestion: parents'; parent's
...ends are republicans as well. Thus, the parents generalization error about luch opinion...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 479, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...ious orange for dessert to overrule the students idea of a pizza for lunch. The author o...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 815, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... vegetables. Though her son and company doesnt like the food, will they continue to no...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 210, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
... vendors are not as healthy and full of many different preservatives and prosessed foods. On t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 26, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
...ch vendors. In conclusion, there are many different factors that the parent did not account...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, lastly, may, really, so, still, then, thus, well, while, in addition, in conclusion, such as, it is true, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 19.6327345309 168% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 12.9520958084 170% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 25.0 13.6137724551 184% => OK
Pronoun: 58.0 28.8173652695 201% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 55.5748502994 128% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3047.0 2260.96107784 135% => OK
No of words: 651.0 441.139720559 148% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.68049155146 5.12650576532 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.05120793913 4.56307096286 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.46540572594 2.78398813304 89% => OK
Unique words: 279.0 204.123752495 137% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.428571428571 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 910.8 705.55239521 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 4.96107784431 262% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.5296393676 57.8364921388 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.068965517 119.503703932 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4482758621 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.13793103448 5.70786347227 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.160574552195 0.218282227539 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0486683233534 0.0743258471296 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0505643301703 0.0701772020484 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0889861785304 0.128457276422 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0433143015293 0.0628817314937 69% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 14.3799401198 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 66.07 48.3550499002 137% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.16 12.5979740519 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.35 8.32208582834 88% => OK
difficult_words: 108.0 98.500998004 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.