The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
Passage concludes or proposes that I f swift is not replaced with another vendor ,there will be serious health consequences for kensington students.In order to support this conclusion author has come up with certain evidences.However on a deeper scrutiny it is revealed that none of the evidences land credible support to the conclusion let us scrutinize them further,
Firstly,author said that Last year,kensington Academy turned over
management of its cafeteria to a private vendor,swift Nutrition.
this company serves low-fat,low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable but author must see that it may be that taste of these meals may be insipid to many people,may some people are biased towards acerbic and crispy taste.
Secondly,author asserted that my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options author may have not identified that it may be the taste as well as variety of food may they have narrow diversity of for example burgers,pastries.
Thirdly,author said that While the intent of hiring swift may been to cause students to eat healthier foods,the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food.However author may mistakenly assumed that it may be possible that they only want house made food by their mothers even if it is healthy it doesn't matter to them.
Fourthly,author said that if swift is not replaced with another vendor,there will be serious health consequences for kensington students.But author may have unfairly generalized that how the author is sure that another vendor who will come in the place of swift would not be unhealthy for school students so author must give proper evidences to support its conclusion.
After having seen the above discussion we come to know that the proposal has not been substantiated by the evidences provided by the author.The evidences hold inherent weakness.Thus,the author must bring more data into consideration to make such conclusion.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 15
No. of Words: 340 350
No. of Characters: 1666 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.294 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.9 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.481 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 123 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 42.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 21.012 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.875 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.449 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 1 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.176 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 8 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 81, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...wift is not replaced with another vendor ,there will be serious health consequence...
^^
Line 1, column 149, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...th consequences for kensington students.In order to support this conclusion author...
^^
Line 1, column 227, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
...thor has come up with certain evidences.However on a deeper scrutiny it is revealed tha...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , author
...scrutinize them further, Firstly,author said that Last year,kensington Academy ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 35, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , kensington
... Firstly,author said that Last year,kensington Academy turned over management of its...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Management
...t year,kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor,sw...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 48, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , swift
...ent of its cafeteria to a private vendor,swift Nutrition. this company serves low-f...
^^^^^^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...to a private vendor,swift Nutrition. this company serves low-fat,low-calorie meal...
^^^^
Line 11, column 28, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , low-calorie
...utrition. this company serves low-fat,low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyab...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 173, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , may
...hese meals may be insipid to many people,may some people are biased towards acerbic ...
^^^^
Line 17, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , author
...erbic and crispy taste. Secondly,author asserted that my son and several of his...
^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 257, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , pastries
... narrow diversity of for example burgers,pastries. Thirdly,author said that While...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 23, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , author
...xample burgers,pastries. Thirdly,author said that While the intent of hiring sw...
^^^^^^^
Line 23, column 59, Rule ID: PRP_PAST_PART[4]
Message: Did you mean 'may be' or 'has been'?
Suggestion: may be; has been
...d that While the intent of hiring swift may been to cause students to eat healthier food...
^^^^^^^^
Line 23, column 108, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...to cause students to eat healthier foods,the plan is just going to cause students to...
^^^^
Line 23, column 223, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
...unches instead of eating cafeteria food.However author may mistakenly assumed that it m...
^^^^^^^
Line 23, column 223, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...unches instead of eating cafeteria food.However author may mistakenly assumed that it m...
^^^^^^^
Line 23, column 363, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... their mothers even if it is healthy it doesnt matter to them. Fourthly,author...
^^^^^^
Line 29, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , author
... doesnt matter to them. Fourthly,author said that if swift is not replaced with...
^^^^^^^
Line 29, column 71, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , there
...wift is not replaced with another vendor,there will be serious health consequences for...
^^^^^^
Line 29, column 138, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: But
...th consequences for kensington students.But author may have unfairly generalized th...
^^^
Line 35, column 141, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...by the evidences provided by the author.The evidences hold inherent weakness.Thus,t...
^^^
Line 35, column 178, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Thus
...or.The evidences hold inherent weakness.Thus,the author must bring more data into co...
^^^^
Line 35, column 182, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...he evidences hold inherent weakness.Thus,the author must bring more data into consid...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, thus, well, while, for example, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 36.0 55.5748502994 65% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 16.3942115768 18% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1743.0 2260.96107784 77% => OK
No of words: 321.0 441.139720559 73% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.42990654206 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23278547379 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.20018523644 2.78398813304 115% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.582554517134 0.468620217663 124% => OK
syllable_count: 514.8 705.55239521 73% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 6.0 19.7664670659 30% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 53.0 22.8473053892 232% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 95.7486582442 57.8364921388 166% => OK
Chars per sentence: 290.5 119.503703932 243% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 53.5 23.324526521 229% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 19.8333333333 5.70786347227 347% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 8.0 5.15768463074 155% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 24.0 5.25449101796 457% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.183089217346 0.218282227539 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0900828109899 0.0743258471296 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0851512204767 0.0701772020484 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.121413812551 0.128457276422 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.124143936775 0.0628817314937 197% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 30.9 14.3799401198 215% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 17.68 48.3550499002 37% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 13.0 7.1628742515 181% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 24.0 12.197005988 197% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.1 12.5979740519 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.91 8.32208582834 119% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 98.500998004 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 29.5 12.3882235529 238% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 23.2 11.1389221557 208% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 24.0 11.9071856287 202% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.