The following is a memorandum from the office of Mayor Harrison Smith Jones.
"In order to relieve Briggsville’s notorious traffic congestion, Mayor Harrison Smith Jones plans to build a multi-million dollar subway system. The subway will run through the major downtown areas, a part of the town where buses serve as the only form of public transportation. For years, residents have been complaining both about inconsistent buses, and the general lack of safety while riding the buses. Additionally, the subway will be running twenty-four hours a day. Since motorists will spend less time in traffic, Mayor Harrison Smith Jones expects to see an immediate increase in worker productivity, which will improve the economy of Briggsville."
What is mentioned in the memorandum from the office of Mayor about how he could find a solution to the traffic jams, residents complaints, and the work productivity. The argument is rife of plenty of holes and unwarranted assumptions. The author should provide more explanations for the real situation before decide that Subway will tackle the current problem.
First of all, the argument states that subway will construct to pass most of major towns regardless the other parts of towns where could have a lot of residents. For example, if this subway passes through the capitals or big cities of the country, what about the other rural cities; if there are plenty of people live there and those often the most users for public transportations. In this case, those people will not be able to use the new subway to commute to their work and as cororally their complaints will be still extist. Thus, if the above scenario is valid; the drawn conclusion in the original argument will considerably wrong as in this case the residents’ complaints will not be solved.
Further, the argument assume that subway will be able to even to serve motorists as well and then they will leave their private cars to sue the subway. However, this is ungauranteed assumption because those people perhaps use their cars not only to commute to their works but also for several private destination. For example, if someone has a big family, will not be feasible to leave his car to use that subway, and then, the traffic will continue hold. Thus, the author should do a study or survey to know how many people can replace their own cars by subway, and how many families there in those towns where the subway will pass. Thus, if the above situation is true, the argument will significantly flawed.
Third, in the mentioned memorandum, the auther correlate the traffic with the productivity and assumes once the subway is constructed the productivity should be increased. However, to be able to assume such assumption, a form of systematic research study should be done first to figure out what are the real reasons behind the lessining in the productivity. For example, if someone does not enjoy what he works or has a problem in his salary or even his manger does not treat him well, there are several scenarios maybe behind the lack of productivity. For all what mentioned above the argument faild to be persuasive enough to cogent people that the subway will be the waited solution.
Inconclusion, the argument as it stands now if flawed because it rely on severak assumptions. Therefore, the author should provide a systematic research study to be feasible to evalute the argument effectively.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 455 350
No. of Characters: 2170 1500
No. of Different Words: 195 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.619 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.769 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.55 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 149 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.278 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.614 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.332 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.508 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.079 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 302, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... other rural cities; if there are plenty of people live there and those often the...
^^
Line 3, column 461, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n, the traffic will continue hold. Thus, the author should do a study or survey t...
^^
Line 3, column 567, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...an replace their own cars by subway, and how many families there in those towns w...
^^
Line 3, column 706, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'flaw'
Suggestion: flaw
...s true, the argument will significantly flawed. Third, in the mentioned memorandum, t...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 66, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'relies'?
Suggestion: relies
...t as it stands now if flawed because it rely on severak assumptions. Therefore, the ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, so, still, then, therefore, third, thus, well, for example, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2228.0 2260.96107784 99% => OK
No of words: 455.0 441.139720559 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.8967032967 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61852021839 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67748419749 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 206.0 204.123752495 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.452747252747 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 696.6 705.55239521 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.2739664975 57.8364921388 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.777777778 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.2777777778 23.324526521 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.5 5.70786347227 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.133117793597 0.218282227539 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0489588190734 0.0743258471296 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0414565553059 0.0701772020484 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.078940219507 0.128457276422 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0472265243143 0.0628817314937 75% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.44 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.9 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 98.500998004 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.