The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The board of directors of Monarch books recommend that the bookstore should open a cafe at it’s location in order to attract more customers. The recommendation cites the recent opening of cafe at Regal Books for this recommendation. Also, it further suggests that the cafe should be opened by discontinuing the children’s book section as the most recent national census indicates that there is a significant decline in children’s population under ten. However, further questions need to be answered inorder to determine the viability of the recommendation.
Has opening a cafe at Regal books attracted more customers? . The recommendation suggests that Monarch Books should open cafe to be better compete with Regal books as they have done so recently. But the Board of directors do not provide any evidence about increase in the number of customers at Regal Books. It is possible that there is no significant increase in the number of customers following the opening of a cafe at Regal Books. As people generally do not eat at book store it is highly unlikely that opening of cafe has significantly changed the number of customers. If this scenario holds true it, the recommendation is significantly weakened.
Is Regal Books and Monarch Books comparable? The recommendation cites Regal books as an example for opening up a cafe. But it needs to be ascertained whether the two book stores are comparable. As the recommendation suggests that Monarch books have a large customer base becuase it is known for it’s wide selection of books. Regal Books could be a niche bookstore which caters to certain genre, for example, Regal Books could be a comic book store which attracts teenagers only, and hence opening a cafe would make much more sense. Also, Regal Books could be located at remote location where the customers cannot easily find a place to eat. Hence, a thorough comparision needs to be done before acting up on the suggestion.
Is the decline in percentage of children population equvalent to decline in number of children under ten? The decline in percentage can also be atrributed to increase in the population of other age groups. For example, due to recent increase in migrants more people are added in the working class age group of the country. It needs to be also analysed if the decline in percentage has to led to decrease in the number of customers below the age of ten at book store, before it could be concluded whether to discontinue the children’s book section in order to open cafe.
In conclusion, the recommendation as it stands now is considerably flawed due to reliance on several unwarranted assumptions.if the author is able to answer the above three questions and offer more evidence(perhaps in the form of a research comparison study between the two Bookstores) can it be ascertained whether opening a cafe is benficial for the Monarch Books.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 480 350
No. of Characters: 2354 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.681 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.904 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.919 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 159 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.818 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.896 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.591 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.361 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.554 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.116 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 89, Rule ID: ABOUT_ITS_NN[25]
Message: Did you mean 'at its location'?
Suggestion: at its location
...d that the bookstore should open a cafe at it’s location in order to attract more customers. The...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the viability of the recommendation. Has opening a cafe at Regal books attrac...
^^^
Line 2, column 64, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...t Regal books attracted more customers? . The recommendation suggests that Monarc...
^
Line 2, column 440, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...g the opening of a cafe at Regal Books. As people generally do not eat at book sto...
^^
Line 3, column 293, Rule ID: FOR_ITS_NN[24]
Message: Did you mean 'for its wide'?
Suggestion: for its wide
...large customer base becuase it is known for it’s wide selection of books. Regal Books could b...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 293, Rule ID: ABOUT_ITS_NN[25]
Message: Did you mean 'for its wide'?
Suggestion: for its wide
...large customer base becuase it is known for it’s wide selection of books. Regal Books could b...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 297, Rule ID: ITS_JJ_NNSNN[27]
Message: Did you mean 'its wide selection'?
Suggestion: its wide selection
...e customer base becuase it is known for it’s wide selection of books. Regal Books could be a niche ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, however, if, so, as to, for example, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 75.0 55.5748502994 135% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2410.0 2260.96107784 107% => OK
No of words: 480.0 441.139720559 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.02083333333 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68069463864 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99580376274 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 199.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.414583333333 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 777.6 705.55239521 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 71.3078676127 57.8364921388 123% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.545454545 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.8181818182 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.09090909091 5.70786347227 54% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.343219892091 0.218282227539 157% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.133990708788 0.0743258471296 180% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.105340585529 0.0701772020484 150% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.2092645498 0.128457276422 163% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0925946356446 0.0628817314937 147% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.57 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.