The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In this argument, the author comes to the conclusion that opening a café in Monarch Books will increase costumer base. This conclusion is based on the evidence and assumptions made by the author However there is not sufficient evidence to support the assumptions made. More questions need to be answered by the author before their recommendation can be expected to give them predicted results.
To begin the author makes the assumption that getting rid of the children’s section of Monarch books will have no effect on the business. They base this assumption on the fact that there has been a decrease in the population under the age of ten. To better prove that removing this section of the book store will have limited effects the author should provide information on how much revenue the children’s section makes. This answer could strength the recommendation by showing that the section brings in little business.
Moreover, the author makes the assumption that the café will help Monarch Books to compete better with their competition Regal Books. They base this on the fact that Regal Books also has a café in their book store. Since both books’ stores have equal accommodations this should in theory even the playing field. To prove this is a correct statement the author should provide more information of the differences between the two bookstores. If both book stores often the same selection, are in comparable locations and have similar settings than the only difference would be the lack of a café in Monarch. This would reinforce the idea that a café is needed at Monarch books to even the playing field.
In addition to this the author makes the assumption that a café will benefit the store. This is based on no evidence but the statement, “clearly this will attract more customers”. This is not strong enough evidence to support this statement. If the author could provide statistics on profit increases made by other book stores that add cafes this could help the argument. They should also add information on how Regal books business is doing after the addition of the café. The book store could be seeing an increase in costumers which would add to the argument.
In conclusion the argument made by the author that Monarch should add a café to their bookstore to increase costumers. This claim is based on insufficient evidence and assumptions. To prove that their recommendation will have the predicted result the author should be answering the questions and providing the information needed to support their assumptions. Then they will be able to show that removing the children’s section will have no consequences, the café will help the business compete, and the café benefit the book store.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 253, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ugh evidence to support this statement. If the author could provide statistics on ...
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, moreover, so, then, in addition, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 25.0 12.9520958084 193% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 28.8173652695 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 34.0 16.3942115768 207% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2308.0 2260.96107784 102% => OK
No of words: 454.0 441.139720559 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08370044053 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61598047577 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81291590278 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 204.123752495 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.376651982379 0.468620217663 80% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 686.7 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.9739141563 57.8364921388 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 100.347826087 119.503703932 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.7391304348 23.324526521 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.04347826087 5.70786347227 53% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.221794245216 0.218282227539 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0821953378976 0.0743258471296 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.056838391072 0.0701772020484 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.147236904671 0.128457276422 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0554760042151 0.0628817314937 88% => OK
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.26 8.32208582834 87% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 98.500998004 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 454 350
No. of Characters: 2226 1500
No. of Different Words: 162 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.616 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.903 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.582 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.739 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.367 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.435 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.332 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.513 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.082 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5