The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books.
"Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books on all subjects. Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store. Monarch Books should open its own in-store café in the space currently devoted to children's books. Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children's books are likely to decline. By replacing its children's books section with a café, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The business manager of monarch books stated that the profit rate can be increased by replacing children's section books with a cafe and ward off competition from book and bean. From national census data, we have evidence that the percentage of the population of children is lowering which may result in a decline in buying of children's books. However, before this recommendation can be fully evaluated, the following questions must be answered.
Firstly, are the type of books sold in monarch and book and bean comparable? In other words, if the books of the newly launched company may not be in relation to monarch books. it may result in no comparison for competition with it. As the citizens in collegeville are already habituated with monarch books, most of the people may not show interest as they already know that the required books are in monarch books store. And also the type of books people around there use can also be known mostly by monarch books. if the books store can't be comparable, the conclusion drawn in the original argument may not hold good.
Secondly, is the percentage of under teens decreased in collegeville? From the national census, it gives the data related to all the areas of the country and most probably it is the mean of all of them. if the ratio of underteen in population is not decreased in that particular area, if their section is removed, the people who specifically want those type of books may start moving to book and bean store which results in loss of customers. if the above scenario is merit, the author's conclusion is significantly weakened.
Thirdly, are the people of collegeville very fond of coffee? In other words, we may possibly not know if the people are willing to have a coffee in a book store while having a glance or reading them. As the people are already fond of just reading books and the amiable atmosphere, they may possibly do not prefer to have coffee in the store. we do not have sufficient evidence of their likely to have a coffee shop in the store. if the above scenario is true, the recommendation doesn't hold water.
In conclusion, the argument, as it stands now is considerably flawed due to it's reliance on unwarranted assumptions. if the author is able to answer the above questions and provide proper evidence (perhaps in research form like surveys), then it will be possible to fully evaluate the viability of the proposed recommendation to remove the children's section and supplant it with a cafe to increase profit margins and to sustain the competition of book and bean store.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 444 350
No. of Characters: 2079 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.59 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.682 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.662 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 34.154 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 22.484 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.923 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.392 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.673 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.193 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 178, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ay not be in relation to monarch books. it may result in no comparison for competi...
^^
Line 4, column 517, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
... also be known mostly by monarch books. if the books store cant be comparable, the...
^^
Line 4, column 536, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...ly by monarch books. if the books store cant be comparable, the conclusion drawn in ...
^^^^
Line 6, column 204, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...probably it is the mean of all of them. if the ratio of underteen in population is...
^^
Line 6, column 444, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...ore which results in loss of customers. if the above scenario is merit, the author...
^^
Line 6, column 480, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...rs. if the above scenario is merit, the authors conclusion is significantly weakened. ...
^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 81, Rule ID: MIGHT_PERHAPS[1]
Message: Use simply 'may', 'possibly'.
Suggestion: may; possibly
...very fond of coffee? In other words, we may possibly not know if the people are willing to h...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 81, Rule ID: MAY_COULD_POSSIBLY[1]
Message: Use simply 'may'.
Suggestion: may
...very fond of coffee? In other words, we may possibly not know if the people are willing to h...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 287, Rule ID: MIGHT_PERHAPS[1]
Message: Use simply 'may', 'possibly'.
Suggestion: may; possibly
... books and the amiable atmosphere, they may possibly do not prefer to have coffee in the sto...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 287, Rule ID: MAY_COULD_POSSIBLY[1]
Message: Use simply 'may'.
Suggestion: may
... books and the amiable atmosphere, they may possibly do not prefer to have coffee in the sto...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 343, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
...not prefer to have coffee in the store. we do not have sufficient evidence of thei...
^^
Line 8, column 430, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...ely to have a coffee shop in the store. if the above scenario is true, the recomme...
^^
Line 8, column 480, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ve scenario is true, the recommendation doesnt hold water. In conclusion, the argum...
^^^^^^
Line 10, column 80, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ds now is considerably flawed due to its reliance on unwarranted assumptions. if ...
^^
Line 10, column 119, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...s reliance on unwarranted assumptions. if the author is able to answer the above ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, while, in conclusion, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 70.0 55.5748502994 126% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2129.0 2260.96107784 94% => OK
No of words: 443.0 441.139720559 100% => OK
Chars per words: 4.80586907449 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58776254615 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71754796283 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.442437923251 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 672.3 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 11.0 2.70958083832 406% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 69.1012843585 57.8364921388 119% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.45 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.15 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.70786347227 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 15.0 5.25449101796 285% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.261309432805 0.218282227539 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.085497267782 0.0743258471296 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0753709625753 0.0701772020484 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.145854097883 0.128457276422 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0730212113356 0.0628817314937 116% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.62 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.69 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 98.500998004 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.