The following recommendation was made by the president and administrative staff of Grove College, a private institution, to the college's governing committee.
Recently, there have been discussions about ending Grove College's century-old tradition of all-female education by admitting male students into our programs. At a recent faculty meeting, a majority of faculty members voted in favor of coeducation, arguing that it would encourage more students to apply to Grove. However, Grove students, both past and present, are against the idea of coeducation. Eighty percent of the students responding to a survey conducted by the student government wanted the school to remain all female, and over half of the alumnae who answered a separate survey also opposed coeducation. Therefore, we recommend maintaining Grove College's tradition of all-female education. We predict that keeping the college all-female will improve morale among students and convince alumnae to keep supporting the college financially.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In this recommendation, the President and administrative staff of Grove College wrote to the college's governing committee to preserve their century-old tradition of all-female education rather than admitting male candidates into their college. However, the recommendation given suffers from several unanswered variables and is therefore scarily credible and unconvincing to me. Albeit, it may appear plausible at cursory glance.
To begin with, the author purposes that 80 % of the students responded, to a survey conducted by the student government, they wanted all-female education. This might seem appeasing at first glance. But we cannot deny the fact that all the students who responded to the survey were female and were already admitted in the college. The author need to consider the male-oriented view as well. Which means, what if there are some male-students who want to get into Grove? The author should survey the students outside the college who want to apply to Grove and then consider the male-female ratio in the survey. This would help the college administration to get a clearer view of what percent of male students want to get into the college.
In addition to this, the author mentions over half of the alumna who answered a separate survey also opposed coeducation. However, 'over a half' does not signify a really great number. For example there are 100 alumnae been surveyed, out of which 51 opposed coeducation while 49 agreed to it. In such a case the difference between the numbers are not significant enough to get to a particular decision. The author in this case must specify the actual numbers instead of relying on vague terminologies.
Finally, the author agrees with the fact that the faculty voted in favor of coeducation. According to me, the faculty should be given more importance rather than relying on the student survey. Faculty has more knowledge and experience than the students. Introducing male students in the program would of-course encourage more students to apply to the college and eventually the number of students would increase. This would also help the college getting more funds by the college's governing committee.
In conclusion, the author seems to be in precipitous to jump to the conclusion based on a series of problematic assumptions pertaining to continue all-female education in Grove college. To strengthen this argument, further analysis and different perspectives need to be considered. If the argument had discussed the points stated above, it would have been more through and logically accepted.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 409 350
No. of Characters: 2113 1500
No. of Different Words: 205 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.497 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.166 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.846 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 163 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 128 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.783 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.613 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.652 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.291 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.453 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 248, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...0 alumnae been surveyed, out of which 51 opposed coeducation while 49 agreed to i...
^^
Line 6, column 90, Rule ID: ACCORDING_TO_ME[1]
Message: This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using 'in my opinion' or 'I think'.
Suggestion: In my opinion; I think
... faculty voted in favor of coeducation. According to me, the faculty should be given more impor...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, may, really, so, then, therefore, well, while, for example, in addition, in conclusion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2164.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 409.0 441.139720559 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.29095354523 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49708221141 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92324984376 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.523227383863 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 680.4 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.22255489022 237% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.7199496896 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.0869565217 119.503703932 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.7826086957 23.324526521 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.13043478261 5.70786347227 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.187156352134 0.218282227539 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0479170571973 0.0743258471296 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.081755010735 0.0701772020484 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.11258466066 0.128457276422 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0911300005262 0.0628817314937 145% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 45.76 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.11 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.69 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 98.500998004 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.