The following was written by a group of developers in the city of Monroe."A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. At present, the nearest jazz club is over 60 miles away from Monroe; thus, our proposed club, the C Note, would have the local market all to itself. In addition, there is ample evidence of the popularity of jazz in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's jazz festival last summer, several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly.' Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. We therefore predict that the C Note cannot help but make money."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
In the argument the author concludes that the jazz club, named the C note, would make great profit to monroe. To justify this conclusion, the developers point out that the nearest jazz music club is over 60 miles away from monroe, and there is some evidence of the popularity of jazz in this city. As further support for the argument, the author notes that a typical jazz fan spends close to $1, 000 per year on jazz entertainment. However, I find the argument unpersuasive on several grounds.
one major problem is about the scope of the city. If the city is a slender shape, 60 miles is just the distance from the eastest to the westest of the city. Then 60 miles is not far away from people lived in monroe. And there is also a problem about where to place the proposed club in such a slender shape city. so the author should think over the site of the club before take action.
Additionally, there are several questions the developers need to answer about the ample evidence. do 100,000 people who attended monroe's jazz festival last summer all belong to the monroe? Since the club is focus on their local residents, 100, 000 outside people do not convincing. The author also mentions that there are several well-known jazz musicians live in monroe. But “several” is a ambiguity word. maybe just one musician lives in the city. so the author should do more research about the evidence before open the club.
Finally, there is a study about the typical jazz fan’s annual spends should be discussed. How many typical jazz fans this city have? Does this study apply to this city? maybe this city teem with poverty people, and they may not have extra money to entertain. Thus the author should do a more specific survey for monroe.
In sum, this argument is logically flawed and therefore untenable as it stands. To strengthen the argument, the editorial’s author must at a very least provide clear evidence about the shape of the city, the number of the musicians in this city and the jazz fans annual expends.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 356 350
No. of Characters: 1611 1500
No. of Different Words: 171 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.344 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.525 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.23 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 101 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 65 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 40 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.778 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.816 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.359 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.582 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.098 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 392, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... that a typical jazz fan spends close to , 000 per year on jazz entertainment. How...
^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: One
... unpersuasive on several grounds. one major problem is about the scope of the...
^^^
Line 4, column 314, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...osed club in such a slender shape city. so the author should think over the site o...
^^
Line 7, column 100, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Do
...ed to answer about the ample evidence. do 100,000 people who attended monroes jaz...
^^
Line 7, column 401, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...e in monroe. But 'several' is a ambiguity word. maybe just one musician...
^
Line 7, column 419, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Maybe
...apos;several' is a ambiguity word. maybe just one musician lives in the city. so...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 462, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...be just one musician lives in the city. so the author should do more research abou...
^^
Line 10, column 100, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun jazz seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much typical jazz', 'a good deal of typical jazz'.
Suggestion: much typical jazz; a good deal of typical jazz
... annual spends should be discussed. How many typical jazz fans this city have? Does this study ap...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 175, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Maybe
...ve? Does this study apply to this city? maybe this city teem with poverty people, and...
^^^^^
Line 10, column 265, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... may not have extra money to entertain. Thus the author should do a more specific su...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, however, if, may, so, then, therefore, thus, well
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1694.0 2260.96107784 75% => OK
No of words: 355.0 441.139720559 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.77183098592 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34067318298 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51177632876 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 179.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.504225352113 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 527.4 705.55239521 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.2689092822 57.8364921388 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 73.652173913 119.503703932 62% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.4347826087 23.324526521 66% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.0 5.70786347227 53% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.310294061616 0.218282227539 142% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0851607364871 0.0743258471296 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0853738167523 0.0701772020484 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.170036452793 0.128457276422 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0971922598445 0.0628817314937 155% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.8 14.3799401198 61% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 48.3550499002 134% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 12.197005988 66% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.09 12.5979740519 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.27 8.32208582834 87% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 98.500998004 66% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.