The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.
"Jazz music is extremely popular in the city of Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight. Also, a number of well-known jazz musicians own homes in Monroe. Nevertheless, the nearest jazz club is over an hour away. Given the popularity of jazz in Monroe and a recent nationwide study indicating that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment, we predict that our new jazz music club in Monroe will be a tremendously profitable enterprise."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
In the context, the author precedes that a new jazz music club in Monroe will be a enormous profitable company & he notes some evidence to justify his presumption. However, careful scrutiny view of that proofs make it articulate that there are some copious amount of holes between those evidence. In fact, with having no correlation with the assumption those facts make the argument more opaque to reader to judge it's validity. Hence the argument can be considered as a unpersuasive one.
First of all, when the author use the fact that there are over 100000 people attended in the jazz festival in last summer, he didnot try to analyze it from realisitc view. Since the festival is not a regular occurence the people usually wait it for it long & there are sometimes goverment holiday on tht festival day. So the people can easily come to the place to have some entertainment. However, as the jazz music club is everyday running business the individuals attending rate possibilty will surely be curtailed on this case. Therefore this is not e pertinent comparison. Another fact on this issue is the time. The author assumes that as there are lot of people in last summer , in this summer it will be the same. But the problem is time is not a consistent thing, people can be shifted in this new time or it can be happened that for that festival people come from another city on that summer. If this things happened then the comparison will be really indefensible.
Secondly, The author caught the point that the highest rated radio program on Monroe is the "Jazz Nioghtly" & he used this fact to assume his enterprise good businees. But he ignore the fact that this programs airs in every weekend night , when all the people have mood to relax. In contrast with this, the author jazz music club is regular doing business , what if the people don't have the mood on the other day of a week? this is a possible cause of issue because the working day of a week surely be hectic for the residents ,so they might not be in the mood to enjoy. Hence this fact is also not incontrovertible to the reader.
Lastly, the nationwide study provide the evidence that the typical jazz fan spends close to 1000 per year on jazz entertainment & the author happlily accepts this study it is myriad number. However, this is annual spend cost , the monthly spend cost will be less than hundred dollar which is not a big number. Another thing is that this study had done on the nation, not specific on Monore. So how can be the author be oversured that this data will help to pressume his company profit? Along with this if this rate true we admit, this rate is depend on how much people live in Monroe. What if the the people live in Monroe is not much ? then this rate will not work. Hence without having a intensive investigation on this critical facts the author decison creates an impression to the reader that the author was quite indolent to search for the hole of his decision.
In summary, the argument can be considered as unsubstantiated. To bolster this argument it is needed to scrape the holes of the evidence by invesitgating more on the data. Finally to better asses the view it is needed to give relevant data which has a direct relation with author assumption.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 579 350
No. of Characters: 2613 1500
No. of Different Words: 252 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.905 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.513 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.404 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 173 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 109 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.679 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.654 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.786 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.261 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.45 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 36, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
In the context, the author precedes that a new jazz music club in Monroe wil...
^^
Line 1, column 83, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...a new jazz music club in Monroe will be a enormous profitable company & he notes ...
^
Line 1, column 259, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'amounts'?
Suggestion: amounts
... articulate that there are some copious amount of holes between those evidence. In fac...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 430, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...opaque to reader to judge its validity. Hence the argument can be considered as a unp...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 470, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...Hence the argument can be considered as a unpersuasive one. First of all, wh...
^
Line 5, column 93, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e are over 100000 people attended in the jazz festival in last summer, he didnot ...
^^
Line 5, column 298, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... & there are sometimes goverment holiday on tht festival day. So the people can e...
^^
Line 5, column 534, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
... will surely be curtailed on this case. Therefore this is not e pertinent comparison. Ano...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 685, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...s there are lot of people in last summer , in this summer it will be the same. But...
^^
Line 5, column 905, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... come from another city on that summer. If this things happened then the compariso...
^^
Line 5, column 908, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...me from another city on that summer. If this things happened then the comparison wil...
^^^^
Line 9, column 186, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'ignores'.
Suggestion: ignores
...me his enterprise good businees. But he ignore the fact that this programs airs in eve...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 248, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...his programs airs in every weekend night , when all the people have mood to relax....
^^
Line 9, column 294, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[2]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: contrast,
...n all the people have mood to relax. In contrast with this, the author jazz music club i...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 366, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...azz music club is regular doing business , what if the people dont have the mood o...
^^
Line 9, column 388, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...lar doing business , what if the people dont have the mood on the other day of a wee...
^^^^
Line 9, column 435, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...ve the mood on the other day of a week? this is a possible cause of issue because th...
^^^^
Line 9, column 537, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... week surely be hectic for the residents ,so they might not be in the mood to en...
^^
Line 9, column 552, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... hectic for the residents ,so they might not be in the mood to enjoy. Hence this...
^^
Line 9, column 560, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...for the residents ,so they might not be in the mood to enjoy. Hence this fact is...
^^
Line 9, column 584, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...ey might not be in the mood to enjoy. Hence this fact is also not incontrovertible ...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 109, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...azz fan spends close to 1000 per year on jazz entertainment & the author happlily...
^^
Line 13, column 226, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...mber. However, this is annual spend cost , the monthly spend cost will be less tha...
^^
Line 13, column 270, Rule ID: NODT_DOZEN[1]
Message: Use simply: 'a hundred'.
Suggestion: a hundred
...he monthly spend cost will be less than hundred dollar which is not a big number. Anoth...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 545, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'depended'.
Suggestion: depended
...f this rate true we admit, this rate is depend on how much people live in Monroe. What...
^^^^^^
Line 13, column 559, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...ue we admit, this rate is depend on how much people live in Monroe. What if the the ...
^^^^
Line 13, column 595, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...how much people live in Monroe. What if the the people live in Monroe is not much ? the...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 595, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...how much people live in Monroe. What if the the people live in Monroe is not much ? the...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 639, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Then
...the people live in Monroe is not much ? then this rate will not work. Hence without ...
^^^^
Line 13, column 669, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...ot much ? then this rate will not work. Hence without having a intensive investigatio...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 690, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ate will not work. Hence without having a intensive investigation on this critica...
^
Line 17, column 173, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Finally,
...ence by invesitgating more on the data. Finally to better asses the view it is needed t...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, hence, however, if, lastly, really, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, another thing, in contrast, in fact, in summary, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 36.0 19.6327345309 183% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 57.0 28.8173652695 198% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2700.0 2260.96107784 119% => OK
No of words: 578.0 441.139720559 131% => OK
Chars per words: 4.67128027682 5.12650576532 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90322654589 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52844880326 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 265.0 204.123752495 130% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.458477508651 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 860.4 705.55239521 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 48.2206827507 57.8364921388 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.1034482759 119.503703932 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9310344828 23.324526521 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.62068965517 5.70786347227 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 32.0 5.25449101796 609% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.125457263719 0.218282227539 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0354739460079 0.0743258471296 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0410562595303 0.0701772020484 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0671522187274 0.128457276422 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0463786862223 0.0628817314937 74% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.5 14.3799401198 73% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.81 12.5979740519 78% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.53 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 108.0 98.500998004 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.