An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The argument provides the solution to the vitamin A deficiency among the people in Tagus with the new breed of millet. However, the argument should have been clearly made to convince that the new breed has rich with vitamin A and dont have any side effects. There are many questions need to be answered to support the recommendation. When the author introduces the new breed, he should concentrate on the side effects. Further, when he sates about the subsidies for farming, he should analyse the capability of the country to subsidies. It is also true that the former might have the doubt about the cultivation procedure and yield. Therefore, the author should address the profit which would be fetched to the farmer and the change in cultivation procedure.
As stated in the introduction, it is the people tendency that when ever you introduce the new hybrid product, they think of the side effects. In the argument the side effects of the new breed of millet are not discussed. What if the new breed increases the Vitamin A and reduces the other vitamins? Therefore it is important to give scientific data that the new breed does not have any side effects.
Further, in the argument it is stated that the farmer will be paid subsidies for farming the new breed of millet. The author should consider the economic condtion of the nation and its capacity to subsidies. What if the country has large dept in world bank and striving to full fill the basic need of the people? It is important for the author to give the data that how much money is there with the government or is there any possibility to get funding from western countries.
The third question is that, how the farmer belive that the new breed would fetch the required yield? what if the former would face loos because of the poor yield? Further, the author should mention the cultivation procedure. Is it same as that of the old variety? If not what they need to adopt for cultivation? The author should include data from the research about the yield of the corp. It would be helpful former to belive in the new breed.
In the final statement the author stated that government should do everything to promote. However, it is important to state what are all the things need to do. Such as, 1. advertise in social media about the important of the new breed, 2. educate the people that the deficiency of vitamin A is dangerous, etc.
The argument has strong recommendation for vitamin A deficiency. However, there are many questions as stated in the aforemention paragraph need to be answered to further strengthen the recommendation.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: The author should consider the economic condtion of the nation and its capacity to subsidies.
Error: condtion Suggestion: condition
Sentence: The third question is that, how the farmer belive that the new breed would fetch the required yield? what if the former would face loos because of the poor yield?
Error: belive Suggestion: believe
Error: loos Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: The author should include data from the research about the yield of the corp. It would be helpful former to belive in the new breed.
Error: belive Suggestion: believe
Sentence: However, there are many questions as stated in the aforemention paragraph need to be answered to further strengthen the recommendation.
Error: aforemention Suggestion: No alternate word
----------------
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK
argument 4 -- OK
----------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 452 350
No. of Characters: 2097 1500
No. of Different Words: 175 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.611 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.639 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.501 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 142 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 101 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.08 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.368 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.44 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.335 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.529 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.109 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 231, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...e new breed has rich with vitamin A and dont have any side effects. There are many q...
^^^^
Line 3, column 300, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...tamin A and reduces the other vitamins? Therefore it is important to give scientific data...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 478, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... to get funding from western countries. The third question is that, how the farm...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 102, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
...w breed would fetch the required yield? what if the former would face loos because o...
^^^^
Line 9, column 173, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Advertise
... all the things need to do. Such as, 1. advertise in social media about the important of ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 240, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Educate
...bout the important of the new breed, 2. educate the people that the deficiency of vitam...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, so, then, therefore, third, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2160.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 452.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 4.77876106195 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61088837703 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60536444248 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.402654867257 0.468620217663 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 662.4 705.55239521 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.4709485901 57.8364921388 58% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 74.4827586207 119.503703932 62% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.5862068966 23.324526521 67% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.86206896552 5.70786347227 33% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.264656015591 0.218282227539 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0794663700715 0.0743258471296 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.092441303871 0.0701772020484 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.147247959384 0.128457276422 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0551240101646 0.0628817314937 88% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.9 14.3799401198 62% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 48.3550499002 134% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 12.197005988 66% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.15 12.5979740519 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.14 8.32208582834 86% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 98.500998004 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.