"Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and a wide selection of books on all subjects. Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store. Monarch Books should open its own in-store café in the space currently devoted to children's books. Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children's books are likely to decline. By replacing its children's books section with a café, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean."
The author of this argument claims that monarch book can increase profit by assuming that the replacement of the children book section with a cafe is more beneficial. Although this argument seems plausible the close scruting reveals its logical untenability.
At the first place, the author reports that the opening of Collegeville store, a combination of book store and coffee shop, will affects the customers of the monarch books. The author was too quick to assume that the establishment of combo bookstore along with coffee will attract the customers. However, he fails to address whether the types of book available at store is as widely as that of monarch book or not. The reason for large customer in monarch is due to wide selection of books on various subjects. It is not clear, however, the scope and validity of the book and bean. Unless the author mention the fully valid and reliable reason for the reduction on customer in monarch book, it cannot be used to effectively back the author argument.
Secondly, the author implies that monarch books should open its own in-store cafe in the space devoted for children books based on the fact that there is decline of percentage of population of children, and thus the sale of children book will decline. Since, there is no restriction for the people to read books, author assume that children are the only customers who likes to buy children books. In the argument it is not mentioned that child books are only for children. There might be customers above ten who likes to read the children books. thus, to strengthen the argument the author should clearly mention whether there are customers who like to buy children books or not.
Building upon the implication that the replacement of children book section with a cafe will increase the profit, the author assumes that it can compete with book and bean. The author fails to mention the reason, how the establishment of café will increase the profit? the argument doesnot mention anything about the customers whether they like to go to the café or not. Moreover, the argument states that profit is the only one factor to compete with book and beans. There might be various other factor like environment, space and the location of the store also. Thus, the author doesnot effectievely shows the clear connection between the replacement of children book section with the café and the increase in profit of the monarch books.
In summary, the author fails to prove that the establishment of book and bean will affect the customers of monarch books and its revenue. To make the argument more persuasive the author should provide more information about the reason for declination in customer and their hobbies.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 458 350
No. of Characters: 2215 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.626 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.836 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.46 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 155 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.105 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.973 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.474 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.378 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.583 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.11 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 168, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Although” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...section with a cafe is more beneficial. Although this argument seems plausible the close...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 130, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'affect'
Suggestion: affect
...ion of book store and coffee shop, will affects the customers of the monarch books. The...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 179, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t that there is decline of percentage of population of children, and thus the sal...
^^
Line 5, column 548, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Thus
...n who likes to read the children books. thus, to strengthen the argument the author ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 270, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...hment of café will increase the profit? the argument doesnot mention anything about...
^^^
Line 7, column 394, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the café or not. Moreover, the argument states that profit is the only one facto...
^^
Line 7, column 560, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...nt, space and the location of the store also. Thus, the author doesnot effectievely ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 727, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e café and the increase in profit of the monarch books. In summary, the author ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, thus, as to, in summary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 32.0 16.3942115768 195% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2272.0 2260.96107784 100% => OK
No of words: 458.0 441.139720559 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.96069868996 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62611441266 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51659221945 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.39519650655 0.468620217663 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 684.9 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.1583421753 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.19047619 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.8095238095 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.95238095238 5.70786347227 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.281157642169 0.218282227539 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.110347968004 0.0743258471296 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0928313895998 0.0701772020484 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.184241210307 0.128457276422 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0744725187483 0.0628817314937 118% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.54 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 98.500998004 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.