“Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains several of the minerals necessary for good health and that it is completely free of bacteria. Residents of Saluda, the small town where the water is bottled, are hospitalized less frequently than the national average. Even though Saluda Natural Spring Water may seem expensive, drinking it instead of tap water is a wise investment in good health.”
The author states that Drinking the Saluda Natural Spring Water is a wise investment for good health, though it seems expensive. The author supports his argument by stating that the water contains minerals necessary for good health and the residents of Saluda are less frequently hospitalized than the national average. However, the argument is falwed in a way that it fails to consider below aspects into the reasoning.
Firstly, just beacause there are several minerals in the water that are need for good health, doesn't mean they are in right proportions to promote good health of the consumers. For Example, Sodium is a required mineral to maintain balance in the nerous system, but excess of sodium can cause hypertension. The author must take into account the proportion of minerals present in the water to declare that the water promotes good health.
Secondly, hospitalization can occur for many reasons other than dietery reasons such as accidents, regular health checkups, pollution, metarnity etc., the author needs to look at the specific type of hospitalization intead of a generic average. For Example, If the hospitalization due to accidents in Saluda is much less than national average, then we may not attribute it to the overall less average to the water.
Finally, the author did not consider the quality of tap water. If the tap water already has all the minerals and free of bacteria, then it may not be a good investment to buy expensive bottled water. The author needs to comparision between the mineral value and the cleaniliness of the tap water before jumping to the conclusion that the bottled water is a better investment than the tap water.
In conlusion, the author needs to make sure that the minerals are in righ proportions; He has to research on the details to prove that the good health of Saluda resdents can be attributed to the drinking water; And he needs to draw a sensible comparision between tap water and the bottled water to make is argument sound and credbile.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 17 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 338 350
No. of Characters: 1634 1500
No. of Different Words: 157 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.288 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.834 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.639 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 122 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.167 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.739 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.426 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.692 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.159 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...der below aspects into the reasoning. Firstly, just beacause there are several...
^^^
Line 3, column 95, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...he water that are need for good health, doesnt mean they are in right proportions to p...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... that the water promotes good health. Secondly, hospitalization can occur for ...
^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he overall less average to the water. Finally, the author did not consider the...
^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...better investment than the tap water. In conlusion, the author needs to make s...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, firstly, however, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, then, as to, for example, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1681.0 2260.96107784 74% => OK
No of words: 337.0 441.139720559 76% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.9881305638 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28457229495 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72955744523 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 157.0 204.123752495 77% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.46587537092 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 527.4 705.55239521 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 68.3774247996 57.8364921388 118% => OK
Chars per sentence: 140.083333333 119.503703932 117% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.0833333333 23.324526521 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.08333333333 5.70786347227 159% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.417244078382 0.218282227539 191% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.171384526956 0.0743258471296 231% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.106325918154 0.0701772020484 152% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.236603870555 0.128457276422 184% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0711880546816 0.0628817314937 113% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 14.3799401198 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.06 48.3550499002 89% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.96 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.77 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 98.500998004 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.