For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, all of the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses.
The argument that this company can improve its profits, by selling only the domestic cheeses in all stores, is a flawed one. To arrive at this conclusion, some evidences are required such as about the genuineness of the survey, interests and the tastes of the people in areas in which it is running its stores, and the statistics of the types of cheeses sold, in the last five years, not of the last year only.
Firstly, information is needed about the veracity of the survey, because some surveys may show skewed data. What if the data of world magazine survey is distorted, then it is imbecile to stop selling the imported cheeses and concentrating primarily on the domestic cheeses, as this action may result in losses to the company.
Secondly, data regarding the tastes and interests of people is necessary. Because, there may be foreigners or immigrants dwelling in particular areas, who don't like the domestic cheeses, they like the imported ones. So, in these areas, it is futile to sell only the domestic cheeses. Consider, the Puducherry city in south India, there many French people residing there. If all the stores in it starts selling only the Indian food, then the stores confront severe losses.
Thirdly, even though the survey is genuine, one should not stop selling the imported cheeses based on last year only. A minimum of five years statistics are needed to implement any changes. Because, what if the statistics of all the years are similar and different to those of the last year. And may be, last year, domestic cheeses are sold most because of some peculiar reasons like no tourists or foreigners or people who like imported cheeses, visited the stores. Hence, it is effete to sell only the domestic cheeses only.
This argument could be strengthened if the evidences regarding the veracity of survey, the tastes of the people, the last five years statistics of cheeses sold. However, in current form, this argument is an erroneous one.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 334 350
No. of Characters: 1578 1500
No. of Different Words: 145 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.275 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.725 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.423 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 121 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.875 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.994 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.812 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.363 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.572 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.075 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 156, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...rants dwelling in particular areas, who dont like the domestic cheeses, they like th...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, well, in particular, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 13.6137724551 29% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 16.3942115768 30% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1641.0 2260.96107784 73% => OK
No of words: 333.0 441.139720559 75% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.92792792793 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.27180144563 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49515758961 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 156.0 204.123752495 76% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.468468468468 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 514.8 705.55239521 73% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.421307293 57.8364921388 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.5625 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8125 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.75 5.70786347227 136% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.299591022835 0.218282227539 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.104283193138 0.0743258471296 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0598320105312 0.0701772020484 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.166379914475 0.128457276422 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0728628532572 0.0628817314937 116% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.3799401198 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.31 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.18 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 98.500998004 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.