For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, all of the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses.
In above argument owner of a stores chain is willing to cut stock of imported cheese based on survey which is done by The World Magazine. This survey show that popularity of domestic cheese is increasing among its subscribers. So store should reduce expenses by limiting their inventory. Owner of store is willing to drop stocking of many variety of imported cheese and concentrate on domestic cheese as they are getting popular among subscriber. These arguments contain many flaws and it mislead readers. This is unconvincing and unsound due to many flaws which is discussed below.
In starting, author says that they have stored variety of cheese for many years but as per selling record of last year at new store opened at Wisconsin, top five bestselling cheese was domestic cheddar cheese. It is possible that people of Wisconsin likes domestic cheddar cheese very much and people of other area like imported cheese. It may possible that population of Wisconsin is very less than other area. Here author failed to mention total number of selling in that particular year. It is possible that there not enough customers for the stores and people are buying imported cheese from another store.
Furthermore, a survey is done by the world magazine indicated that people are penchant for domestic cheese is increasing among its subscriber. It is possible that there are people who like international cheese and they have not participated in this survey. Here author failed to give an important information about survey that how many participant were took part in this survey. This is possible that survey is done only in particular area and in this area people like domestic cheese and not international imported cheese.
In last author says that best way to reduce expenses is limiting inventory. There are many other possible way also to reduce expenses. Focus on primarily on domestic cheese may lead to loss for stores. it is possible that in other area people are still likes imported cheese.
So based on this reason this argument is not convincing here author failed to give some crucial information like how many people participated in the survey which is done by the world magazine. Total selling data for a store open last year in which bestselling cheese was domestic cheese. So here author have to re consider his arguments and should re-conclude.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 393 350
No. of Characters: 1937 1500
No. of Different Words: 157 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.452 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.929 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.497 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.484 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.359 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.55 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 151, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'shows'.
Suggestion: shows
...done by The World Magazine. This survey show that popularity of domestic cheese is i...
^^^^
Line 5, column 335, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun variety seems to be countable; consider using: 'many varieties'.
Suggestion: many varieties
...of store is willing to drop stocking of many variety of imported cheese and concentrate on d...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 490, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'misleads'?
Suggestion: misleads
...ese arguments contain many flaws and it mislead readers. This is unconvincing and unsou...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 332, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun participant seems to be countable; consider using: 'many participants'.
Suggestion: many participants
...rtant information about survey that how many participant were took part in this survey. This is ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 354, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'taken'.
Suggestion: taken
...t survey that how many participant were took part in this survey. This is possible t...
^^^^
Line 17, column 203, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...tic cheese may lead to loss for stores. it is possible that in other area people a...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, may, so, still, in particular
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.9520958084 31% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1995.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 393.0 441.139720559 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.07633587786 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45244063426 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57061942379 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 156.0 204.123752495 76% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.396946564885 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 639.9 705.55239521 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 42.6182603552 57.8364921388 74% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.6818181818 119.503703932 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.8636363636 23.324526521 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.40909090909 5.70786347227 42% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.334134343724 0.218282227539 153% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.110360341518 0.0743258471296 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.103192429963 0.0701772020484 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.200248374566 0.128457276422 156% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.098928169516 0.0628817314937 157% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.89 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.01 8.32208582834 84% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 98.500998004 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 12.3882235529 52% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.