Medical experts say that only one-quarter of Corpora's citizens meet the current standards for adequate physical fitness, even though twenty years ago, one-half of all of Corpora's citizens met the standards as then defined. But these experts are mistaken when they suggest that spending too much time using computers has caused a decline in fitness. Since overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer ownership are also highest, it is clear that using computers has not made citizens less physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year's unusually low expenditures on fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does
While it may be true that the fitness levels of the citizens are declining, this author argument is not cogent enough to consider that fitness level of people will improve with improved economical condition. The argument is rife with holes and assumptions, and thus, not strong enough to consider that fitness level is correlated with economy.
The argument cites that the fitness level of the people is declining: while 50% of the people fulfilled the standard for fitness some twenty years ago, at present only 25% of the citizen fulfils those requirements. But it may happen that the birthrate of the city was in declining side for the last few decades which is the cause why most of the people who were young and fit enough are now old, and their percentage are much higher than the young people living in the city. If this fact is true, then it can be easily understood that old people are not going to be equally fit as they were in their young age. So, without further knowing the age level of the people of the city we cannot conclude anything about the fitness level, hence the argument is not cogent.
However, as we are talking about the fitness level standard, what is actually the standard? Does this standard is fit for young people? Does it consider the weak physical condition of the old citizens? We never know from this argument. It may happen that in real world physical fitness is defined according to age level but in this case a generalization of fitness is considered. If this is the case, it can be easily understood that old people are not going to fulfill the criteria, and hence the argument is not strong enough.
Additionally, the argument cites that using computers has not made citizens less physically fit. However, it it general truth that occasional exposure to anything may not be equally virulent as it is for the case of continuous exposure. It may be true that those people who own computer are physically fit but we never know about the demographic condition of the area. It may be true the area under consideration is actually is an university area, where students live and naturally they are young and use computer occasionally in an entire day, and thus fit enough. On the other hand, the citizens who do not have computer may actually be the officials who need to do their job by using computer for most of the day and long time exposure to computer is deteriorating their physical condition. So, we cannot conclude whether computer is guilty for poor physical condition or not.
The more important thing is, the argument assumes poor economic condition is responsible for the declination of purchase of fitness-related products and services. However, as we know, walking and jogging is a good exercise and the city under condition has many parks where mass people can walk or run and for this fact they were never inclined to buy those products. So, citizens' ;ow expenditures on those products cannot be correlated with the fitness level.
The argument of this author is not cogent enough because of some holes and unwarranted assumptions.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 533 350
No. of Characters: 2498 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.805 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.687 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.541 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.227 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.277 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.337 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.56 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.162 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 112, Rule ID: DOES_NP_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'be'?
Suggestion: be
...tually the standard? Does this standard is fit for young people? Does it consider ...
^^
Line 7, column 107, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: it
... citizens less physically fit. However, it it general truth that occasional exposure ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 113, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'generals'?
Suggestion: generals
...ens less physically fit. However, it it general truth that occasional exposure to anyth...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 429, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...area under consideration is actually is an university area, where students live an...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, hence, however, if, may, so, then, thus, while, talking about, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 43.0 19.6327345309 219% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 28.8173652695 163% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 48.0 55.5748502994 86% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2561.0 2260.96107784 113% => OK
No of words: 533.0 441.139720559 121% => OK
Chars per words: 4.80487804878 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80487177365 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59832227574 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.414634146341 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 817.2 705.55239521 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.3491037481 57.8364921388 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.409090909 119.503703932 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.2272727273 23.324526521 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.31818181818 5.70786347227 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0816917318172 0.218282227539 37% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0357166457807 0.0743258471296 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.038821197309 0.0701772020484 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0449892155965 0.128457276422 35% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0295692888321 0.0628817314937 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 48.3550499002 115% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.86 12.5979740519 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.58 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.