Milk and dairy products are rich in vitamin D and calcium — substances essential for building and maintaining bones. Many people therefore say that a diet rich in dairy products can help prevent osteoporosis, a disease that is linked to both environmental and genetic factors and that causes the bones to weaken significantly with age. But a long-term study of a large number of people found that those who consistently consumed dairy products throughout the years of the study have a higher rate of bone fractures than any other participants in the study. Since bone fractures are symptomatic of osteoporosis, this study result shows that a diet rich in dairy products may actually increase, rather than decrease, the risk of osteoporosis.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
It is stated in prompt that consuming dairy product also cause osteoporosis, according to result mention, it can be conclude that diet rich in dairy product may increase, rather than decrease, the risk of osteoporosis. Additionally they bolster the claim by enticing towards the study force to dilapidate the fact stated by people that diet rich in dairy product can prevent osteoporosis.
To begin with, have they considered persons health history before calming? We should understand the requirements of body. How much calcium and vitamin D one should consume to avoid osteoporosis? Because requirements of calcium and vitamins differ from one person to another. According to research it is proved that calcium is required to make our bones strong. Maybe, person who is suffering from osteoporosis is consuming a lot of dairy product. Consuming lot of dairy product increases calcium level in our body and it is blatant that if body absorb calcium more than it required it will make bone hard and it will easily break.
Secondly, have they considered other dietary supplements or food person is consuming? Other diet also matter only consuming dairy product will not solve the problem of osteoporosis. What if a person is consuming other food is large amount than dairy product which accelerates the rate of osteoporosis? In this case person will surely suffer from osteoporosis and he/she will conclude that dairy product don’t prevent osteoporosis. If this happens to be true than conclusion drawn from the prompt that dairy product increase, rather than decrease, the risk of osteoporosis doesn’t hold any water.
Finally, have they considered day to day activities of a person? If a person is involved in any hard working physical activity like playing soccer, weight lifting or playing ruby he or she will more likely to have fracture once or twice in his/her courier. If this is the case than one cannot blame on dairy products, saying that in spite of consuming lots of dairy product person is still suffering from osteoporosis.
In conclusion, it is not apt to draw the conclusion that consuming diet rich in dairy products cause osteoporosis before answering all question mention above.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 362 350
No. of Characters: 1801 1500
No. of Different Words: 168 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.362 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.975 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.677 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.111 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.999 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.368 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.575 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.154 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 220, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Additionally,
...han decrease, the risk of osteoporosis. Additionally they bolster the claim by enticing towa...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, in conclusion, in spite of, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 16.3942115768 18% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1864.0 2260.96107784 82% => OK
No of words: 358.0 441.139720559 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.20670391061 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34981470047 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78614727669 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 204.123752495 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.474860335196 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 578.7 705.55239521 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 50.1928380116 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.555555556 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8888888889 23.324526521 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.22222222222 5.70786347227 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.286603757393 0.218282227539 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.103504222686 0.0743258471296 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0799445895197 0.0701772020484 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.184818966705 0.128457276422 144% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0698688338937 0.0628817314937 111% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.75 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 98.500998004 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.