Milk and dairy products are rich in vitamin D and calcium—substances essential for building and maintaining bones. Many people therefore say that a diet rich in dairy products can help prevent osteoporosis, a disease that is linked to both environmental and genetic factors and that causes the bones to weaken significantly with age. But a long-term study of a large number of people found that those who consistently consumed dairy products throughout the years of the study have a higher rate of bone fractures than any other participants in the study. Since bone fractures are symptomatic of osteoporosis, this study result shows that a diet rich in dairy products may actually increase, rather than decrease, the risk of osteoporosis.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The argument that a diet rich in diary products will increase the risk of osteoporosis may seem tenable at first glance. However, the argument is rife with premises.
Primarily, the argument is based on the unwarranted assumption that all bone fractures imply osteoporosis, rendering its main conclusion invalid.
The author reasons that all bone fractures are directly engendered by osteoporosis. Bone fractures can be caused by numerous other reasons. Fall from a certain height,
or some form of cancer can cause bone fractures. This possibility is not accounted in the argument though. Hence, the author needs to provide evidence that
osteoporosis is the only cause for bone fractures to bolster his argument.
Furthermore, no information regarding the study is provided in the argument. The study may not be representative of the public. Selection of volunteers for the study
needs to be explained. The volunteers chosen for the study may be more prone to bone fractures than the public. The volunteers selected may as well have some
other common features among them. For a more representative study the selection should be from different age groups, occupation, lifestyles, etc. Had the argument
provided information regarding the above mentioned features study, the study could have been considered more reliable.
Additionally, the author asserts that a diet rich in diary products will increase osteoporosis. The author states the result of the study to buttress his conclusion.
Then again, we do not know whether a diet rich in diary products are the primary cause for disease. Maybe the people who are more vulnerable to bone fractures include
more diary products in their diet. The study should be more controlled about the factors affecting the results of the study to strengthen the argument.
Because the argument makes several unwarranted assumptions, its fails to make a convincing case that a diet rich in diary products will increase the risk of
osteoporosis.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 168, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...her reasons. Fall from a certain height, or some form of cancer can cause bone fr...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 156, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he author needs to provide evidence that osteoporosis is the only cause for bone ...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Osteoporosis
...thor needs to provide evidence that osteoporosis is the only cause for bone fractures to...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 166, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...c. Selection of volunteers for the study needs to be explained. The volunteers ch...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Needs
...lection of volunteers for the study needs to be explained. The volunteers chosen ...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 158, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...olunteers selected may as well have some other common features among them. For a ...
^^^^^
Line 15, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Other
...eers selected may as well have some other common features among them. For a more ...
^^^^^
Line 15, column 163, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ation, lifestyles, etc. Had the argument provided information regarding the above...
^^^^^
Line 17, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Provided
..., lifestyles, etc. Had the argument provided information regarding the above mention...
^^^^^^^^
Line 21, column 167, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ore vulnerable to bone fractures include more diary products in their diet. The s...
^^^^^
Line 23, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: More
...ulnerable to bone fractures include more diary products in their diet. The study...
^^^^
Line 25, column 157, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...diary products will increase the risk of osteoporosis.
^^^^^
Line 27, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Osteoporosis
... products will increase the risk of osteoporosis.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['but', 'first', 'furthermore', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'regarding', 'so', 'then', 'well', 'in conclusion']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.26724137931 0.25644967241 104% => OK
Verbs: 0.155172413793 0.15541462614 100% => OK
Adjectives: 0.100574712644 0.0836205057962 120% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0431034482759 0.0520304965353 83% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0201149425287 0.0272364105082 74% => OK
Prepositions: 0.109195402299 0.125424944231 87% => OK
Participles: 0.0402298850575 0.0416121511921 97% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.95064166904 2.79052419416 106% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0229885057471 0.026700313972 86% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.137931034483 0.113004496875 122% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0344827586207 0.0255425247493 135% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00287356321839 0.0127820249294 22% => Some subClauses wanted starting by 'Which, Who, What, Whom, Whose.....'
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2020.0 2731.13054187 74% => OK
No of words: 314.0 446.07635468 70% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 6.43312101911 6.12365571057 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.20951839842 4.57801047555 92% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.366242038217 0.378187486979 97% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.315286624204 0.287650121315 110% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.254777070064 0.208842608468 122% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.168789808917 0.135150697306 125% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95064166904 2.79052419416 106% => OK
Unique words: 151.0 207.018472906 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.480891719745 0.469332199767 102% => OK
Word variations: 47.9681186452 52.1807786196 92% => OK
How many sentences: 21.0 20.039408867 105% => OK
Sentence length: 14.9523809524 23.2022227129 64% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.3511517002 57.7814097925 58% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.1904761905 141.986410481 68% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.9523809524 23.2022227129 64% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.571428571429 0.724660767414 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 13.0 5.14285714286 253% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 3.58251231527 363% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 46.4810433728 51.9672348444 89% => OK
Elegance: 1.90789473684 1.8405768891 104% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.138154097021 0.441005458295 31% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.147667652376 0.135418324435 109% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0991536141372 0.0829849096947 119% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.651229705043 0.58762219726 111% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.224201448207 0.147661913831 152% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0721012496853 0.193483328276 37% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.070756939883 0.0970749176394 73% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.262928492198 0.42659136922 62% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0728660922255 0.0774707102158 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0843580461587 0.312017818177 27% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0567489919908 0.0698173142475 81% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.33743842365 60% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.87684729064 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.82512315271 145% => OK
Positive topic words: 5.0 6.46551724138 77% => OK
Negative topic words: 7.0 5.36822660099 130% => OK
Neutral topic words: 5.0 2.82389162562 177% => OK
Total topic words: 17.0 14.657635468 116% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.