Argument model essays and outlines
Milk and dairy products are rich in vitamin D and calcium - substances essential for building and maintaining bones.Many people therefore say that a diet rich in dairy products can help prevent osteoporosis, a disease that is linked to both environmental and genetic factors and that causes the bones to weaken significantly with age.But a long-term study of a large number of people found that those who consistently consumed dairy products throughout the years of the study have a higher rate of bone fractures than any other participants in the study.Since bone fractures are symptomatic of osteoporosis, this study result shows that a diet rich in dairy products may actually increase, rather than decrease, the risk of osteoporosis.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The argument that a diet rich in diary products will increase the risk of osteoporosis may seem tenable at first glance. However, the argument is rife with premises. Primarily, the the argument is based on the unwarranted assumption that all bone fractures imply osteoporosis, rendering its main conclusion invalid.
The author reasons that all bone fractures are directly engendered by osteoporosis. Bone fractures can be caused by numerous other reasons. Fall from a certain height, or some form of cancer can cause bone fractures. This possibility is not accounted in the argument though. Hence the author needs the provide evidence that osteoporosis is the only cause for bone fractures to bolster his argument.
Furthermore, no information regarding the study is provided in the argument. The study may not be representative of the general public. Selection of volunteers for the study needs to be explained. The volunteers chosen for the study may be more prone to bone fractures than the general public. The volunteers selected may as well have some other common features among them. For a more representative study the selection should be from different age groups, occupation, lifestyles, etc. Had the argument provided information regarding the above mentioned features study, the study could have been considered more reliable.
Additionally, the author asserts that a diet rich in diary products will increase osteoporosis. The author states the result of the study to buttress his conclusion. Then again, we do not know whether an diet rich in diary products are the primary cause for disease. Maybe the people who are more vulnerable to bone fractures include more diary products in their diet. The study should be more controlled about the factors affecting the results of the study to strengthen the argument.
Because the argument makes several unwarranted assumptions, its fails to make a convincing case that a diet rich in diary products will increase the risk of osteoporosis.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 178, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...ument is rife with premises. Primarily, the the argument is based on the unwarranted as...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 178, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...ument is rife with premises. Primarily, the the argument is based on the unwarranted as...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 276, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...s not accounted in the argument though. Hence the author needs the provide evidence t...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 299, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...argument though. Hence the author needs the provide evidence that osteoporosis is the only ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 121, Rule ID: GENERAL_XX[1]
Message: Use simply 'public'.
Suggestion: public
... study may not be representative of the general public. Selection of volunteers for the study ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 279, Rule ID: GENERAL_XX[1]
Message: Use simply 'public'.
Suggestion: public
...e more prone to bone fractures than the general public. The volunteers selected may as well ha...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 486, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...age groups, occupation, lifestyles, etc. Had the argument provided information re...
^^
Line 7, column 202, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...ion. Then again, we do not know whether an diet rich in diary products are the pri...
^^
Discourse Markers used:
['but', 'first', 'furthermore', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'regarding', 'so', 'then', 'well', 'in conclusion']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.268571428571 0.25644967241 105% => OK
Verbs: 0.151428571429 0.15541462614 97% => OK
Adjectives: 0.105714285714 0.0836205057962 126% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0428571428571 0.0520304965353 82% => OK
Pronouns: 0.02 0.0272364105082 73% => OK
Prepositions: 0.108571428571 0.125424944231 87% => OK
Participles: 0.04 0.0416121511921 96% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.93531724571 2.79052419416 105% => OK
Infinitives: 0.02 0.026700313972 75% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.142857142857 0.113004496875 126% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0342857142857 0.0255425247493 134% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00285714285714 0.0127820249294 22% => Some subClauses wanted starting by 'Which, Who, What, Whom, Whose.....'
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2006.0 2731.13054187 73% => OK
No of words: 317.0 446.07635468 71% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 6.32807570978 6.12365571057 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.21953715646 4.57801047555 92% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.365930599369 0.378187486979 97% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.318611987382 0.287650121315 111% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.252365930599 0.208842608468 121% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.167192429022 0.135150697306 124% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.93531724571 2.79052419416 105% => OK
Unique words: 153.0 207.018472906 74% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.482649842271 0.469332199767 103% => OK
Word variations: 48.3495439921 52.1807786196 93% => OK
How many sentences: 21.0 20.039408867 105% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0952380952 23.2022227129 65% => OK
Sentence length SD: 32.603645999 57.7814097925 56% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.5238095238 141.986410481 67% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.0952380952 23.2022227129 65% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.571428571429 0.724660767414 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 3.58251231527 223% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 46.9564368334 51.9672348444 90% => OK
Elegance: 1.94666666667 1.8405768891 106% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.110615891999 0.441005458295 25% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.147349911786 0.135418324435 109% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0959603432585 0.0829849096947 116% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.594631672137 0.58762219726 101% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.14601333599 0.147661913831 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0601096844725 0.193483328276 31% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0635462747497 0.0970749176394 65% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.42967763216 0.42659136922 101% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0754643469661 0.0774707102158 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.100154270691 0.312017818177 32% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0440593479927 0.0698173142475 63% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.33743842365 60% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.87684729064 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.82512315271 145% => OK
Positive topic words: 5.0 6.46551724138 77% => OK
Negative topic words: 7.0 5.36822660099 130% => OK
Neutral topic words: 5.0 2.82389162562 177% => OK
Total topic words: 17.0 14.657635468 116% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.