Milk and dairy products are rich in vitamin D and calcium - substances essential for building and maintaining bones.Many people therefore say that a diet rich in dairy products can help prevent osteoporosis, a disease that is linked to both environmental

Essay topics:

Milk and dairy products are rich in vitamin D and calcium - substances essential for building and maintaining bones.Many people therefore say that a diet rich in dairy products can help prevent osteoporosis, a disease that is linked to both environmental and genetic factors and that causes the bones to weaken significantly with age.But a long-term study of a large number of people found that those who consistently consumed dairy products throughout the years of the study have a higher rate of bone fractures than any other participants in the study.Since bone fractures are symptomatic of osteoporosis, this study result shows that a diet rich in dairy products may actually increase, rather than decrease, the risk of osteoporosis.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

The author's statement negatively linking a diet rich in dairy products to the risk of osteoporosis is based on a number of assumptions, when proven unwarranted can lead to serious flaws in his claims. The author statements, though logical, is not substantiated with concrete evidence.

Building upon the implication that milk and dairy products are rich in vitamin D and calcium, the author states that, many people claim a diet rich in dairy products can help osteoporosis. Here, the author is basing his claim on the belief that the people who makes these claims are experts in the field of osteoporosis. However, these people maybe laypersons who have no degree in the field of this disease and hence, it would be incorrect to take their statement into account. moreover, the author claims that the disease is linked to environmental and genetic factors and it causes the bones to weaken. Since, the disease can be caused by many factors, it is not correct to assume that a diet rich in dairy products can help prevent this disease. thus, the author's initial claim of the preventing osteoporosis by consuming a diet rich in dairy products is spurious.

Additionally, the author states that a long-term study of a large number of people who consumed dairy products regularly have a higher rate of bone fractures than other participants in the study. The scope and validity of the study, which is used by the author to make his claims, is not clear. For example, the long-term study over the years could be for two years or even for hundred years. moreover, the author does not provide information regarding how the study was performed or what tests were used to form the results. The study could have been performed by an inchoate who had no experience in this field of study and provided dubious results. hence, it is not clear why this study should be considered valid, and the author should not use it to prove his claims.

Furthermore, the study states that people who consumed dairy products have a higher rate of bone fractures than other participants. A higher rate of bone fracture does not indicate that the person is suffering from osteoporosis. Although, weak bones is a symptom of osteoporosis, bone fractures can be caused due to various other external factors. For example, the person could have injured himself when he tumbled on to the ground while jogging. Therefore, we can cannot consider bone fractures as an indication for osteoporosis.

To recapitulate, the author's claims about linking dairy products to the disease, osteoporosis, seemed to have resulted from more of a wishful thinking, rather than providing concrete evidence. thus, we cannot draw any conclusions regarding the correlation between dairy products and osteoporosis, and dairy products may in fact have no effects with respect to increasing or decreasing the risk of osteoporosis.

Votes
Average: 4.2 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 5, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
The authors statement negatively linking a diet ric...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 480, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Moreover
...t to take their statement into account. moreover, the author claims that the disease is ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 751, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Thus
...products can help prevent this disease. thus, the authors initial claim of the preve...
^^^^
Line 13, column 59, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...author states that a long-term study of a large number of people who consumed dairy products regu...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 379, Rule ID: NODT_DOZEN[1]
Message: Use simply: 'a hundred'.
Suggestion: a hundred
...ears could be for two years or even for hundred years. moreover, the author does not pr...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 394, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Moreover
...or two years or even for hundred years. moreover, the author does not provide informatio...
^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 653, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Hence
... of study and provided dubious results. hence, it is not clear why this study should ...
^^^^^
Line 25, column 194, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Thus
...ather than providing concrete evidence. thus, we cannot draw any conclusions regardi...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
furthermore, hence, however, may, moreover, regarding, so, therefore, thus, while, for example, in fact, with respect to

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2427.0 2260.96107784 107% => OK
No of words: 477.0 441.139720559 108% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08805031447 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67336384929 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80308475192 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.438155136268 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 746.1 705.55239521 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 16.0 8.76447105788 183% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.8300812722 57.8364921388 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.571428571 119.503703932 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7142857143 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.71428571429 5.70786347227 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.337979531977 0.218282227539 155% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.11026604691 0.0743258471296 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.135618732374 0.0701772020484 193% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.195214717217 0.128457276422 152% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.131783215962 0.0628817314937 210% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.54 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.04 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 98.500998004 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 477 350
No. of Characters: 2343 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.673 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.912 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.677 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 168 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 83 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.812 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.354 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.39 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.626 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.167 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5