Ten years ago our company had two new office buildings constructed as regional headquarters for two regions. The buildings were erected by different construction companies—Alpha and Zeta. Although the two buildings had identical floor plans, the building constructed by Zeta cost 30 percent more to build. However, that building's expenses for maintenance last year were only half those of Alpha's. Furthermore, the energy consumption of the Zeta building has been lower than that of the Alpha building every year since its construction. Such data indicate that we should use Zeta rather than Alpha for our contemplated new building project, even though Alpha's bid promises lower construction costs."
although, the author cites a few valid and cogent reasons for choosing the construction company alpha over zeta, the statement is filled with gaps and holes. The author makes many invalid assumptions to prove his stance.
The author states that “ten years ago” two new office buildings were constructed by two different construction companies. since, the event occurred ten years ago, a lot of things could have changed at the two companies, for the better or the worse. zeta might have acquired additional resources and expanded, hence, they might be able to construct a more enhanced building than alpha. hence, the author cannot make his decision to use alpha over zeta by using historical data. To strengthen his case, the author should provide insights into the two companies over their recent works to make his case.
although, the author states that the two buildings had identical floor plans, it does not provide adequate information on how the buildings appeared in real after construction was completed. The author claims that the construction cost of zeta was 30% more than alpha, but it does not provide any information on the materials used for construction. zeta might have used some premium raw materials to make the building look more attractive and appealing to people. hence, the author does not take into account, the appearance or the durability of the two buildings.
Furthermore, it has been stated that the energy consumption of zeta building was higher than the alpha building. The energy consumption of the zeta building could have been higher due to more lighting and air conditioning inside the office or it could be due to some advertisement boards put up outside the buildings. hence, these two factors could in fact be more favourable to the company since the employees are more comfortable inside and the company gets popularity due to the advertisement board outside. The author does not realize that a small price to pay for energy consumption could be beneficial to the company.
although, alpha has a stable workforce, it does not guarantee that the employees are more efficient than their zeta counterpart. hence, to sum it all up, there may be a few logical arguments favoring alpha over zeta, but the author does not make a strong case to support it and fails to take into account many important factors that might affect the new building project.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 397 350
No. of Characters: 1945 1500
No. of Different Words: 175 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.464 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.899 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.601 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 128 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 39.7 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 24.108 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.457 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.743 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.179 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Although
although, the author cites a few valid and cogen...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 133, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Since
...y two different construction companies. since, the event occurred ten years ago, a lo...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 260, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Zeta
...companies, for the better or the worse. zeta might have acquired additional resource...
^^^^
Line 5, column 396, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Hence
...ct a more enhanced building than alpha. hence, the author cannot make his decision to...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Although
...eir recent works to make his case. although, the author states that the two buildin...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 350, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Zeta
...on the materials used for construction. zeta might have used some premium raw materi...
^^^^
Line 9, column 465, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Hence
...ore attractive and appealing to people. hence, the author does not take into account,...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 319, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Hence
...nt boards put up outside the buildings. hence, these two factors could in fact be mor...
^^^^^
Line 17, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Although
...ould be beneficial to the company. although, alpha has a stable workforce, it does ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 130, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Hence
... efficient than their zeta counterpart. hence, to sum it all up, there may be a few l...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, hence, if, look, may, so, then, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2026.0 2260.96107784 90% => OK
No of words: 397.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.10327455919 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46372701284 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68529685121 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.478589420655 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 620.1 705.55239521 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.2885317937 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.176470588 119.503703932 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.3529411765 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.35294117647 5.70786347227 59% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.352954952628 0.218282227539 162% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.120195326715 0.0743258471296 162% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.107377866307 0.0701772020484 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.193739015639 0.128457276422 151% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0943790115581 0.0628817314937 150% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.6 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.24 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 98.500998004 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.