Milk and dairy products are rich in vitamin D and calcium—substances essential for building and maintaining bones. Many people therefore say that a diet rich in dairy products can help prevent osteoporosis, a disease that is linked to both environmental and genetic factors and that causes the bones to weaken significantly with age. But a long-term study of a large number of people found that those who consistently consumed dairy products throughout the years of the study have a higher rate of bone fractures than any other participants in the study. Since bone fractures are symptomatic of osteoporosis, this study result shows that a diet rich in dairy products may actually increase, rather than decrease, the risk of osteoporosis.
The argument seems plausible at the first glance but lacks a stand to defend its say! Though the author mentioned the richness of vitamin D and calcium in dairy products, he has made his conclusion based on a long-term study which is not properly supported. The evidences do not seem sufficient to know the argument, nevertheless to study the argument further we need to get into the detail of the authors assertion.
Firstly, the author states osteoporosis is linked to genetic and environment whose effects inevitable, vitamin D can help only in prevention of the disease. The facts about the dairy products as to how many years you are supposed to use and how many times a day and other factors of such kind haven’t been discussed by the author. Author simply states that vitamin D prevents osteoporosis. As this happens significantly by age it depends on each individual as to what have they done throughout their lives to keep their bones healthy. Few might have done a lot of physical work throughout and by just consuming dairy products there is going to be no much difference, though dairy products are rich in calcium and vitamin D.
Secondly, author talks about the long term study that has been done where the conclusion made is people consuming dairy products consistently have higher rate of bone fractures. This statement seems falsified the reason being a bone fractures can happen cause of anything not just weak bones. They might be people who have met with road accidents etc. there are many reasons for it and not just weak bones.
Finally, the author says bone fractures are symptomatic to osteoporosis and hence the people are prone to osteoporosis. Here the author neglects the fact that osteoporosis might have many other symptoms further, it does not prove that dairy supplements lack vitamin D and calcium but the consumers are also lacking in various other factors which might have an impact on a person’s bones.
To conclude, there might be many reasons for a person’s weak bone status and that do not directly imply that dairy supplements have a negative effect rather than positive. The author had made an argument which is not well supported and we need many other factors into consideration in order to evaluate the argument.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 399, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...r we need to get into the detail of the authors assertion. Firstly, the author states...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 541, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[6]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun might seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'little might'.
Suggestion: Little might
...heir lives to keep their bones healthy. Few might have done a lot of physical work throug...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 653, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...ing dairy products there is going to be no much difference, though dairy products ...
^^
Line 2, column 729, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ducts are rich in calcium and vitamin D. Secondly, author talks about the long te...
^^^
Line 5, column 323, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tion in order to evaluate the argument.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'finally', 'first', 'firstly', 'hence', 'if', 'nevertheless', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'well', 'as to']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.26491646778 0.25644967241 103% => OK
Verbs: 0.1861575179 0.15541462614 120% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0835322195704 0.0836205057962 100% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0620525059666 0.0520304965353 119% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0310262529833 0.0272364105082 114% => OK
Prepositions: 0.090692124105 0.125424944231 72% => OK
Participles: 0.0501193317422 0.0416121511921 120% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.72003020379 2.79052419416 97% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0334128878282 0.026700313972 125% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.090692124105 0.113004496875 80% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0167064439141 0.0255425247493 65% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0238663484487 0.0127820249294 187% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2288.0 2731.13054187 84% => OK
No of words: 383.0 446.07635468 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.97389033943 6.12365571057 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.42384287591 4.57801047555 97% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.318537859008 0.378187486979 84% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.242819843342 0.287650121315 84% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.185378590078 0.208842608468 89% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.125326370757 0.135150697306 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72003020379 2.79052419416 97% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 207.018472906 94% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.509138381201 0.469332199767 108% => OK
Word variations: 55.3315046106 52.1807786196 106% => OK
How many sentences: 15.0 20.039408867 75% => OK
Sentence length: 25.5333333333 23.2022227129 110% => OK
Sentence length SD: 80.4563649854 57.7814097925 139% => OK
Chars per sentence: 152.533333333 141.986410481 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.5333333333 23.2022227129 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.866666666667 0.724660767414 120% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 3.58251231527 140% => OK
Readability: 49.8153176675 51.9672348444 96% => OK
Elegance: 1.45299145299 1.8405768891 79% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.317180650034 0.441005458295 72% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.099240042523 0.135418324435 73% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.078225431962 0.0829849096947 94% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.552637596329 0.58762219726 94% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.158142524077 0.147661913831 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.133466643433 0.193483328276 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.083548497194 0.0970749176394 86% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.316425899062 0.42659136922 74% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0378505855687 0.0774707102158 49% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.212259538929 0.312017818177 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0846707905957 0.0698173142475 121% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.33743842365 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.87684729064 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.82512315271 21% => More neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 4.0 6.46551724138 62% => OK
Negative topic words: 6.0 5.36822660099 112% => OK
Neutral topic words: 1.0 2.82389162562 35% => OK
Total topic words: 11.0 14.657635468 75% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 66.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.