Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products, is opening its next franchise in the town of Plainsville. The store should prove to be very successful: Nature's Way franchises tend to be most profitable in areas where residents lead healthy lives, and clearly Plainsville is such an area. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. Finally, Plainsville's schoolchildren represent a new generation of potential customers: these schoolchildren are required to participate in a fitness-for-life program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age.
Τhe author argues that the new franchise of the chain of stores Nature’s Way in Plainsville will be proved a successful endeavor . This is based on the premises that there is a trend for success of these stores in areas where residents live a healthy lifestyle and the Plainsville is such an area as the demand for athletic equipment is high, the health clubs are full of customers and there are implemented educative programs for exercise at schools. However, on deeper analysis, it is apparent that certain relevant aspects have not been taken into consideration, leading to a number of mistaken assumptions and logical flaws.
One such flaw is the assumption that the new franchise will have success in Plainville because the company has correspondent success in other areas where residents prefer a healthy lifestyle. Though, it is possible that in Plainsville there are adequate relative enterprises which cover adequately the local demand. In order to overcome this flaw, the author should cite a survey from the local merchant union which would depict that the current local business cannot fulfill the increased demands of locals for healthy food.
Moreover, the author’s argument is incorrectly based on the assumption that the increased that the high preference of locals for weight training and aerobics classes is a guarantee for a potential success for the new franchise. However, the locals may are interested on exercise and be indifferent for a healthy nutrition products. In order to strengthen the argument, the author should make a reference to a local newspaper which could presented a local survey depicting the high interesting of local for healthy food except of being exercise.
The author also wrongly concludes that an implemented educative program at local schools will create conditions for future customers for the new franchise. Though even if the school program gives emphasis on healthy nutrition the result will not be so hopeful if the families of the pupils do not follow a nutritious diet daily.
In the passage presented it is apparent that there are several logical flaws. In the essay, the recommendations show how the arguments may be strengthened and made more logically sound.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 359 350
No. of Characters: 1832 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.353 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.103 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.76 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.615 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.125 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.462 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.348 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.632 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.06 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 129, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...lle will be proved a successful endeavor . This is based on the premises that ther...
^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...istaken assumptions and logical flaws. One such flaw is the assumption that the...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 197, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...e residents prefer a healthy lifestyle. Though, it is possible that in Plainsville the...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed demands of locals for healthy food. Moreover, the author’s argument is incor...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...healthy food except of being exercise. The author also wrongly concludes that a...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o not follow a nutritious diet daily. In the passage presented it is apparent ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, may, moreover, so, then
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 55.5748502994 59% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1870.0 2260.96107784 83% => OK
No of words: 359.0 441.139720559 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.20891364903 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35284910392 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82646225676 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.515320334262 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 585.0 705.55239521 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.4230650742 57.8364921388 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 143.846153846 119.503703932 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.6153846154 23.324526521 118% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.23076923077 5.70786347227 57% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.170999831134 0.218282227539 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0689999865485 0.0743258471296 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0975609245051 0.0701772020484 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.093569106298 0.128457276422 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0850766543878 0.0628817314937 135% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.9 14.3799401198 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 48.3550499002 91% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.23 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.07 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 12.3882235529 149% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.